Tag Archives: Gordon Bonnet

Know Your Strengths

My dear friend and writer extraordinaire, Gordon Bonnet, and I share a brain. Where our thought processes and levels of comprehension differ, we end up being complimentary. Academically, we both studied physics but gravitated (no pun intended) to different things. We both share levels of anxiety but manage it in different ways. He likes to run. I only run if I’m being chased, and even then I’d have to think long and hard about it depending on who was doing the chasing. He likes going shirtless where as I am self-conscious of my upper body and shun pants at every opportunity.

Gordon recently wrote a thing over at his award-winning (okay, it’s not, but it should be) blog, Skeptophilia. In it, he describes hitting a brick wall when it comes to understanding Classical Mechanics. This was actually one of the few subjects I understood when studying applied physics at the University of Waterloo back in the mid-90s. My Achilles heel came in the form of Electricity and Magnetism 2.

I scraped by Calculus 3 by some miracle (or administrative error, we’ll never know) even though it was near incomprehensible gibberish to my eyes and ears. I did pretty well in Thermodynamics. Classical Mechanics was a lot of fun. I was even staring down the barrel of a degree in Astrophysics before life intervened in the form of an actual paying job and boss that didn’t give a rat’s ass if I majored in anything so long as I had a general bachelor of science. I had enough credits for one of those, but that dang Electricity & Magnetism 2 class almost screwed up everything.

Thirty percent of my grade was comprised of assignments and labs. Another thirty percent was given to the midterm exam, which you could throw away if you weren’t pleased with your mark, leaving a final exam worth either 40% or 70% of your total grade depending on your situation. I was scraping by with my assignments and labs and tanked the midterm in glorious fashion setting up a showdown at the end of the term.

Important Note: if you neglected to write a final exam it was an automatic fail regardless of your grade going into it. You could have a perfect 60% heading into the final, but but if you didn’t write it, you’d fail. In these cases, the school would assign you a grade of 32% for averaging purposes.

Anyway, I wrote my final exam, was sure I’d failed it, and waited to see how bad it was when they released the grades. I got a 30% in the class. I’d have been better off not studying at all and going to the pub for a drink. Anyway, as a physics major I needed that class so I had to take it again. The results were only marginally improved. When it was all said and done I secured a grade of 42 (sadly, only the answer to Life, The Universe, And Everything and not how to get a physics degree).

Now, I wasn’t ready to give up on a physics major yet (that would come a year later), but if you failed a core class twice they’d kick you out of your program, so I had a problem. I went to the prof’s office as soon as I got my grade and begged him to pass me. I brought in all my assignments, all my study notes, and assured him I went to every lecture and every study period. He pulled my exam from a file cabinet and proceeded to grill me on every mistake I made. “Why did you use this formula? What was your thought process on this step?” Etc.

When we finished he put his pen down. “If I give you a pass will you promise me to never take another one of my classes ever again?”

“Sir, that is a promise I can keep.”

He looked me dead in the eyes. “Congratulations, you just passed E&M 2. Please don’t ever darken my doorway again.”

All this to say, not knowing something isn’t the end of the world. With very few exceptions, not being able to know something isn’t the end of the world either. It’s okay, you know other stuff. Not a single one of us can go it alone and I can guarantee that if you ask you won’t have to wait very long for a yin to compliment your yang, or lend you a pair of pants.

Connections

I am a writer. As such, I have a lot of friends who are writers. I have even more acquaintances who are writers. On social media (mostly Facebook but also Instagram and Twitter) I would wager that my interactions with writers outnumber interactions with everyone else combined. I have a short list of non-family members that I put into the category of close friends. There are two from my university days and another three that I didn’t even know existed until I started writing, and more specifically, started participating in National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo as well like to call it, or if we’re being particularly lazy, “NaNo”.

NaNo is a challenge to writers everywhere to write 50,000 words in the month of November. In other words, write a novel in thirty days. That works out to 1,667 words per day, every day, for an entire month. It’s a lot. It may not seem like a lot, but it’s a lot. Trust me, I know. I participated in this challenge six years in a row from 2011 to 2016 and was only successful four out of those six years.

For a number of reasons, I’m not doing NaNo this year. A friend asked me if it felt weird and I said that it did. Other than the fact I’ve done it for six years in a row now I couldn’t put my finger on why that was. I thought a bit about it a bit more and came to the conclusion that it felt weird because NaNoWriMo is a big reason that I am a writer at all.

In early 2010 I started dabbling with some writing. Not simply jotting stuff down and blogging every now and then, but writing with plot and character in mind. Well, sort of. I was blogging somewhat regularly and I had every intention of starting a big screenwriting project, at some point, some time, you know, later. But by some sheer twist of fate, it was the month of November that all that changed.

If anyone out there is a fan of the James Burke show Connections (and Connections 2 and Connections 3) you’ll see that my “path to success” goes WAY back and isn’t exactly a straight line.

That’s Why I’m on This Oil Rig a Writer

  • In 1993 I worked as a clerk at a video store before heading off to university.
  • It was that first year at university that I would have a little girlfriend trouble.
  • While that was going on, Kevin Smith was writing the movie Clerks. It is a movie about a couple dudes working as, well, clerks. One in a video store and one at a convenience store. One of the clerks has girlfriend trouble.
  • That movie came out in 1994 and I saw it when it hit video stores in 1995. The movie changed the way I looked at films and my whole creative process and I was an immediate fan.
  • Later that year I got back together with one of my girlfriends from back in 1993. We would get married on November 6, 1999.
  • Fast forward to 2010. Kevin Smith had made ten movies and was a huge success and doing his Q&A sessions and multiple podcasts. My wife looks out her office window one day and sees a billboard advertising Kevin Smith coming to town just a few days before our anniversary.
  • We attend the show and have a great time and it sparked something in me. Afterwards, I came across this blogger and writer by the name of Robert Chazz Chute who wrote about his experience at the same show. In his post, he mentioned this weird thing called NaNoWriMo. I, in turn, wrote a blog post about getting off my ass and actually writing something. It was going to be a screenplay.
  • In 2011 I started writing the screenplay and I was having a conversation with one of those close friends I mentioned earlier in the post. I was lamenting that I was having a hard time getting my story to fit into the framework of a film. He said that he didn’t want to see an Andrew Butters movie. He’d rather read an Andrew Butters book. So, I switched gears and started to write it as a novel.
  • In November 2011, I attempted my first NaNoWriMo. I was there alongside Robert cranking out words and having a great time. It was on Twitter during NaNo that I met a writer by the name of Jennifer Gracen.
  • Jennifer was a NaNo cheerleader and she introduced me to a whole number of other writers and eventually she invited me into a writer’s group on Facebook. One of these individuals is now one of my other close friends, Gordon Bonnet. We joke that we are brothers from different mothers. Twins separated at birth and by more than a decade and several strands of DNA.
  • One of the Twitter NaNo folks Jennifer introduced me to almost died due to a medical complication and there was an anthology being put together to raise money to help pay her medical bills. I wrote a piece of creative non-fiction about the unexpected death of my wife’s brother and Jennifer edited that piece for me. It was eventually accepted into the anthology and just like that, I had my first published piece.
  • Shortly thereafter I had a photographer friend, Christine Reid, do some headshots for me. If I was going to write books I was going to need pictures for back covers, right?
  • Then, in 2014 my daughter was diagnosed with severe scoliosis and was going to require spinal fusion surgery. Since there was little information out on the web from girls and families that have gone through this, my genius wife decided that we should keep a family blog to chronicle the journey.
  • A year post-surgery the blog was done and I decided that if I could add a bit more context to the blog posts that it would make a pretty powerful book. In October 2016 I finished Bent But Not Broken: One Family’s Scoliosis Journey.
  • In January of 2017, I was talking to another writer, one to whom I was introduced at the same time as my brudder from another mudder. She suggested I talk to him about Bent. So, I did. He was beta reading the manuscript and unbeknownst to me had given it to the Editorial Board at his publisher, Oghma Creative Media (now called Roan & Weatherford, and you should avoid them at all costs. Message me if you want more details). A few weeks later I had my first writing contract.
  • A couple months later, the Oghma founder was asking me for a headshot for an announcement on their Facebook page about my signing. I pointed him to the folder of headshots that my friend Christine did for me.
  • He asked me if I did any acting when inquiring about why I had headshots taken. I told him I had them done so I’d have something for a book cover one day. He said, “Oh, you’ve written other stuff?” and I told him I had a few pieces of almost completed fiction plus bits and bobs of incomplete stuff that will take shape at some point. He invited me to the publisher’s writing retreat in the summer and said we would talk.
  • I returned home in August of 2017 from my publisher’s writing retreat with two book contracts: one for a standalone psychological thriller (short novel) and one for an open-ended suspense series called The “No” Conspiracies (which will be at least five books at this point).
  • Bent But Not Broken comes out on the third anniversary of my daughter’s surgery on January 20, 2018.
  • Hard Truth (the short novel) comes out in September of 2018.
  • No Fixed Address: The “No” Conspiracies Book #1 comes out in March 2019.
  • No Known Cure: The “No” Conspiracies Book #2 comes out in September 2019, which currently sits at about 25,000 words.
    • To bring this all full circle, it’s worth noting that this was the movie I started writing back in 2010 and ended up being the book I started writing during my very first NaNoWriMo back in 2011.
    • In fact, of the seven books I have either written or have committed to writing, four of them have been NaNo projects.
As you can see, there are a whole lot of connections that brought me from A to B on this writing journey of mine. I look at the long list of events above and if you remove any one of them the chain collapses. I see all those events as the kindling and the fuel for my fire. If that’s true, then learning about NaNoWriMo was the spark. The annual challenge for writers around the globe that I found out about at just the right time because the impact that a single Kevin Smith show had on a guy named Robert which prompted him to write a blog post that I happened to read.
Here are tonight’s three stars of the game:
  • Kevin Smith. For writing Clerks, deciding to do a show in Kitchener of all places in 2010, and inspiring writers and filmmakers in ways that only you can do.
  • Robert Chazz Chute. For sharing your fanboiness of Kevin Smith and writing and introducing me to the world of writing (also, for that drive into Toronto to go see Kev’s movie Red State when I was suffering from post-concussion syndrome).
  • My wife. For taking a minute out of her day to look out the window and suggest that a Kevin Smith show would be a good anniversary present, and for being the bond that has held together so many of the links in my chain for nearly a quarter of a century. You’re why I’m on this oil rig, baby. Happy Anniversary!
~ Andrew

Links (I know I linked them above, but it’s always nice to have a list):

Flash Fiction Challenge – BET NOW!

After a brief hiatus we’re back! I was on vacation and Gordon was… well I don’t know and it’s probably none of my business. I can tell you that he was fretting over getting this Flash Fiction Challenge WEB VOTE going. He was fretting big time. Why? Because he want’s to give away stuff!

One lucky person will be walking away with a digital copy of one of Gordon’s books and up to 9 photo downloads from Andrew’s Alphabet. You can actually download my photos for free any time, but the winner will get the back story behind each of the photos they select (it’s a short paragraph explaining how the picture found its way into my collection. It’s not heavy reading, don’t worry. Gordon’s book will be a more thrilling read, I promise).

Thanks to everyone who participated in the first eight Flash Fiction Challenges. The entries were awesome! Winners 1, 3, 5, and 7 can be found on my blog and winners 2, 4, 6, and 8 can be found on Gordon’s Blog. You don’t have to go to all the trouble of finding them though because we listed them here. Just click the links below and it will expand and show you each weekly winner. We’ve also included a couple honourable mentions in the mix as well.

Now, all we need people to do is VOTE! That’s right, read the entries and vote for the one you like the most. After a couple weeks we’ll tally ’em up and crown someone the Ultimate World Flash Fiction Challenge First Quarter 2014 Champion. Honourable mention will go to whomever can come up with a better title.

So without any further delay, here are the things. Read ’em and cast your vote in the poll thingy below:

  1. Week 1 – Gareth
  2. Week 1 – K.D.
  3. Week 2 – KBR #1
  4. Week 2 – Angela
  5. Week 3 – Jane #1
  6. Week 4 – KBR #2
  7. Week 5 – jmcpike01 #1
  8. Week 6 – pmcpike01 #2
  9. Week 7 – jmcpike01 #3
  10. Week 8 – Jane #2
Pick one and click “Done”:

~ Andrew & Gordon

Week 7 Winner and Week 8 Prompt

Week 7 of the Tales of Whoa / Potato Chip Math Flash Fiction Challenge is in the books. We only had one entry this week  and it was the same lone entry as week 5 and the winner from week 6 as well. We’re going to have to rename this contest to the  jmcpike01 Flash Fiction Challenge. You can read the entry here.

We’re going to keep at this for one more week so make your way over to Tales of Whoa where you’ll find this week’s prompt and challenge rules.

~ Andrew

Flash Fiction Challenge #7

Gordon will be posting the week 6 winner on Thursday this week. So head on over to Gordon’s Blog in about 24 hours to check it out.

Now, onto week 7!

The rules are very simple: we give you a prompt and you write 500 words or less.

You can write in any style that you wish just be sure to use the prompt as your inspiration, keep it under 500 words, write it in English, and ensure it’s completely made up (this is a flash fiction challenge after all).

Next week Gordon and I will post links to the pieces we liked the best and will probably do a shout out on Twitter to those folks if they so desire. After a few months we’ll compile a list of our favourites and we’ll get the Internet to vote. The winner will win stuff (to be determined, but we’re sure they’ll love it).

Now, without further ado we present this week’s prompt. I’m taking a page out of Gordon’s book and using a picture as the prompt:


Use the comments below to submit your work. You can submit anonymously, but if you don’t leave us an email address or Twitter handle you can’t win.

Have fun!

~ Andrew & Gordon

Week 5 Winner & Flash Fiction Challenge #6

Week 5 of the Tales of Whoa / Potato Chip Math Flash Fiction Challenge is in the books. We only had one entry this week (what are we, married?) so our winner is jmcpike01 and you can read the entry here.

We’re going to keep at this for a while longer and give people a chance to win actual prizes soon so keep coming back!



Now, let’s get on with Flash Fiction Challenge #6!

This week it’s Gordon’s turn to host the challenge so if you’ll all please make your way over to Tales of Whoa you’ll find this week’s prompt and challenge rules.

~ Andrew

Flash Fiction Challenge #5

First things first. Take a look over at Gordon’s Blog for the week 4 winner.

Now, onto week 5!

The rules are very simple: we give you a prompt and you write 500 words or less.

You can write in any style that you wish; just be sure to use the prompt, keep it under 500 words, write it in English, and ensure it’s completely made up (this is a flash fiction challenge after all).

Next week Gordon and I will post links to the pieces we liked the best and will probably do a shout out on Twitter to those folks if they so desire. After a few months we’ll compile a list of our favourites and we’ll get the Internet to vote. The winner will win stuff (to be determined, but we’re sure they’ll love it).

Now, without further ado we present this week’s prompt (be sure to use it in your submission):

“Look, officer, I swear when I left the bar I was wearing pants.”

Use the comments below to submit your work. You can submit anonymously, but if you don’t leave us an email address or something you can’t win.

Have fun!

~ Andrew & Gordon

Week 3 Winner & Flash Fiction Challenge #4

Week 3 of the Tales of Whoa / Potato Chip Math Flash Fiction Challenge is in the books. We had a light week for entries but a lot of people stopped by to take a look and many promised to submit something in the weeks to come.

Thank you, everyone. We’ll be doing this every week all year, with chance to win prizes every few months so keep coming back.

Gordon and I read through the entries and are pleased to announce that this week’s winner is Jane who can be found on Twitter as @janesharp11. Congratulations! You can read Jane’s entry here.


Now, let’s get on with Flash Fiction Challenge #4!

This week it’s Gordon’s turn to host the challenge so if you’ll all please make your way over to Tales of Whoa you’ll find this week’s prompt and challenge rules.

~ Andrew

Flash Fiction Challenge #3

Welcome to the week 3 of the Potato Chip Math / Tales of Whoa flash fiction challenge!

The rules are very simple: we give you a prompt and you write 500 words or less.

You can write in any style that you wish; just be sure to use the prompt, keep it under 500 words, write it in English, and ensure it’s completely made up (this is a flash fiction challenge after all).

Next week Gordon and I will post links to the pieces we liked the best and will probably do a shout out on Twitter to those folks if they so desire. After a few months we’ll compile a list of our favourites and we’ll get the Internet to vote. The winner will win stuff (to be determined, but we’re sure they’ll love it).

Now, without further ado we present this week’s prompt (thanks to Chuck Wendig who inspired this ‘pick list’ style prompt):

If the last digit of your house number ends in:

0 or 1 = Paranoid
2 or 3 = Thoughtful
4 or 5 = Courageous
6 or 7 = Clueless
8 or 9 = Humorous 

If your birthday is in:

January or February = Politician
March or April = Actor  
May or June = Office Worker
July or August = Scientist
September or October = Teacher
November or December = Politician


If the day of your birth ends in:

0 or 1 = Montreal 
2 or 3 = New York City
4 or 5 = Hollywood
6 or 7 = Iowa
8 or 9 = Moscow

If the year of your birth ends in:

0 or 1 = Stumbles across an assassination plot
2 or 3 = Steals something
4 or 5 = Commits a murder
6 or 7 = Falls in love
8 or 9 = Loses everything

So for me I would be writing about, a clueless actor in New York City who commits a murder.

Use the comments below to submit your work. You can submit anonymously, but if you don’t leave us an email address or something you can’t win.

Have fun!

~ Andrew & Gordon

Week 1 Winner & Flash Fiction Challenge #2

We had a great week 1 of the Tales of Whoa / Potato Chip Math Flash Fiction Challenge! We had a grand total of eight submissions – seven of which followed the instructions!

Thank you everyone for participating and to all the other people who stopped by either for a quick read or to see what it was all about. We’ll be doing this every week all year, with chance to win prizes every few months so keep coming back.

Now, without further ado Gordon and I would like to present the entry we were most fond of. All eight submissions were great but Gareth Young’s stood out for both of us. Congratulations Gareth! We’ll send out some kudos tweets over the next few days. You can find him on Twittter @Spartagus.

Honourable mention this week goes to K.D. McCrite who took a prompt that we intended on inspiring murder and took it in a completely different direction. K.D. is such a good writer. If you have pre-teen daughters they will very much enjoy K.D.’s April Grace series.


Now, let’s get on with Flash Fiction Challenge #2!

This week it’s Gordon’s turn to host the challenge so if you’ll all please make your way over to Tales of Whoa you’ll find this week’s prompt and Challenge rules.

~ Andrew