If You Keep Doing What You’re Doing

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It has been said that the definition if insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. I prefer, “If you keep doing what you’re doing you’ll keep getting what you get”. Even a child understands that in order to get a different result you have to try something different. If you don’t like what Mom has to say what do you do? You go and ask your Dad, of course. Can’t get your friend to steal you that cookie? Get your little brother to do it. Ask enough of your friends to lick the flagpole in the dead of winter and one of them will most certainly do it. But for some reason, when it comes to elections Canadians seem content to let the same thing happen over and over again and then raise their hands in disbelief when they keep getting the same result.

Canadians want change. Hell, even in the last election almost 60% voted for a party that didn’t end up running the country for the next four years. Now, those numbers are even greater with almost 70% of the country ready to vote for a party other than the Conservatives.

But, with our broken first-past-the-post system we’ve got the Conservatives on one side, and everyone else on the other, with those 70% of the votes split among three main parties: Liberal, NDP, and Green. Well, guess what? An entirely plausible scenario will see the Conservatives win a minority government with their piddly 31or 32% support.

So, people are trying to organize voters into a strategic collective, the biggest being LeadNow / Vote Together, a popular one called Strategic Voting, and my personal favourite, Anyone But Harper. These sites will tell you who to throw your support behind to upset the Conservative candidate and help guarantee a change in government.

I think this is a stand-up idea. The parties aren’t cooperating and forming a coalition so let’s force their hands. In order to make the system work, you have to work the system.

Many people are on board with this but for those who aren’t I am hearing a lot of, “Vote for what you believe in”, “Vote with your conscience”, or probably the worst one I’ve heard so far, “Vote with your heart”. Ugh. Give me a break.

Whether your beliefs, your conscience, or your heart, if you’re voting for any of these reasons you may feel better about it, but in the majority of cases you’re not changing anything. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Thanks to the Conservatives your party of choice doesn’t even get the $1.25 or $2.50 or whatever it used to be.

This is the principle reason voter turnout has been so low over the past few years. Only that’s changing now because people are realizing that if they vote together they can implement change. Sure, it’s not ideal, but if you keep doing what you’re doing…

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pxG4yd8U3U]

Then there’s an oft-quoted phrase, “People get the government they deserve.” Only we don’t deserve this. A clear majority has spoken and yet none of that matters. Why? Because our system is broken. Well, guess what? All three major parties trying to unseat the Conservatives have come forth saying that if they get into power they’ll introduce electoral reform. Can you imagine that? Finally, a system where if you cast a vote it will mean something.

Now, my friend Jim wrote a good post on not voting at all and how that should be a viable option for certain individuals or groups. He made great points but I’m going to counter with this, and it’s a little more hopeful outlook: incremental change is better than no change at all (or a violent revolution).

Doing nothing helps maintain the status quo. Even if it means voting against your interests I am proposing that you vote for incremental change and take the first step toward freedom. It reminds me of something that my dad said to me one day when I was complaining about some first world problem. He said, “Play by the rules until you’re in a position to change them. But when you are, you’d better well change them.”

Mary Angelou said something similar: “What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.”

Too many of us just accept the lot we’re handed and too many of us just sit on Facebook and complain about it. Face it, the game is rigged. Millions are disenfranchised and the only thing we know for sure is that if we stay on this course it is not going to get better. Again, short of taking arms and rising up, which I hope not will not be necessary, what options are there?

Boil the frog.

You could just toss the frog in the pot and be done with it (the revolution option). It’s messy but sends a statement to all the other frogs. I think it breeds more hatred between frogs and frog boilers that will not abate for generations. Plus, the frog will likely realize what’s going on and jump out. Then you’ve just got one really pissed off frog and a pot of boiling water that he’s pissed in (you can’t even use it for tea!)

Or, you could put the frog in cold water and turn the dial up, bit-by-bit. It takes longer, but in the end you’ve still met your objective and you’ve done it gradually and without any nasty scars and burns. The frog just dies, quietly, peacefully, thinking it’s just having a nice warm soak after a hard day’s work catching flies and whatnot.

The best way to turn this country around and start the process of change is to make an incremental one right now. We’re never going to have a better chance than October 19, so on voting day cast a ballot and turn that dial up a notch. If we have to, in the next election, turn it up again. And so on. It won’t take as long as you think. In fact, with as much support as there is for electoral reform, your chances are good that in the election after this one you will get to cast the vote you want and have it count as well. For this election at least, you’re going to have to vote with that end goal in mind.

Sacrifice a bit of what you believe in now for a chance to get what you deserve some time soon.

So, sorry Green supporters. Voting Green will make you feel better, but it won’t change a damn thing. You’re electing one member of parliament. That’s it. You have 5% of the vote nationally though, so why not put it to some use? With a ranked ballot or proportional representation, you stand a chance of having way more than one MP next time around. Small price to pay now considering what you have to gain because if you keep doing what you’re doing…

For the Liberal or NDP supporters, the math is easy. If the other party is ahead in your riding then vote for them (assuming you’re not leading. If that’s the case then everyone vote for them anyway just to make it a sure thing). Otherwise, if you keep doing what you’re doing…

To all the Conservative voters out there I only have one thing to say. You’re telling almost 70% of the country that they don’t matter. You’re telling us that the status quo is the way to go. At best, you’re telling us that you think that because you’ll be okay that we’ll be okay too. At worst, you’re telling us that you don’t give a shit if we’ll be okay at all. To you, I’m asking you with as much conviction as I can muster, please stop doing what you’re doing. Put your social conscience ahead of your tax breaks. Show us that you’re true Canadians.

~ Andrew

(Note: the views expressed here are my own and are in no way affiliated with any other individual or organisation)

Intolerance, Hatred, and Fear

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Here we are just two weeks from the election and the Conservatives are pulling ahead. Why? Intolerance, hatred, and fear (also: racism, bigotry, ignorance, prejudice, and xenophobia).

Less than a month ago Stephen Harper hired Lynton Crosby (possibly illegally). Lynton is a political strategist known for identifying “wedge issues” and getting politicians to leverage them  on the road to electoral success. Since he was hired we have heard about:

  • “Old stock” Canadians
  • Niqabs
  • Barbaric cultural practices

And guess what? It’s been working. The message is clear: you should be afraid. Fear those who have different skin colour. Fear those who worship differently that you; whose faith you don’t understand. Fear those from different parts of the world. Fear those that are new.

Old Stock Canadians

You know, those who have been in Canada since the beginning. No, not the First Nations. Pay no attention to them. Not even 1000+ missing or murdered aboriginal women are worth talking about. What Stephen Harper means by that is old, rich white people.

Niqabs

There has been lots of talk about these. So much that it’s erupted into a maelstrom that no one could have predicted. Well, Lynton did. A dozen or so women a year request to be allowed to wear the niqab at the citizenship ceremony. There’s an easy solution to this that was looking the Conservatives in the face, but they chose a different tactic.

Barbaric Cultural Practices

There’s already a law passed (in November 2014) that makes certain cultural acts illegal (child, forced, or polygamous marriages and gender-based family violence). More illegal? I thought Canada’s laws on these sorts of things were already pretty clear. Now we need an entirely separate law just to highlight our collective displeasure of these things? More laws are the answer? Seriously? Further to that, if the Conservatives get elected they’ll staff a tip line where Canadians can call in if they see any barbaric cultural practices taking place.

The message is clear: you should be afraid.

You should fear those from afar who will stop at nothing to get into Canada, marry off their daughters, steal your culture, and bomb your church.

Intolerance, hatred, and fear. If you’re a Conservative politician these are your most valuable tools. Lynton Crosby knows it, Stephen Harper knows it, and according to the latest polls a large number of Canadian voters have been caught up in it. Hook, line, and sinker.

If you’re a Conservative voter, at best, you’re accepting of the use of these tools as electoral tactics. At worst, well, you find fear mongering to be an admirable quality instead of something that should be eliminated from this election, every one after that, and from our society as a whole.

If you even have the slightest inclination toward racism, bigotry, ignorance, prejudice, or xenophobia Stephen Harper is playing to your fears and wants you to know that the only protection around is the Conservative Party of Canada.

Here’s the truth:

  • The only “old stock” Canadians are the First Nations. 
  • There is a perfectly reasonable solution for the Niqab at citizenship ceremonies. 
  • There are already laws in place for the crime of practicing of something culturally barbaric. 

It’s all just a distraction to keep you from realizing that you have nothing to fear and you really don’t need Stephen Harper at all.

http://votetogether.ca

Helpful Links:

~ Andrew
(Note: the views expressed here are my own and are in no way affiliated with any other individual or organisation)

What are YOU voting for?

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It’s election time here in Canada – the longest campaign in 90-something years at a whopping 11 weeks (compared to 5 from 2011). The three major parties are fighting tooth and nail for your votes in what promises to be a three horse race with a photo finish. The rhetoric is as thick as pea soup and the party leaders are shopping around their policies to anyone of voting age who will listen.

But, what if I were to tell you that none of that matters?

Let me clarify. Policies matter but there are a couple other (really important) items that we should square away before we go nitpicking over taxes and spending and other such things.

Here’s our friend The Policy:

The problem is that policies aren’t created in a vacuum. There is ‘stuff’ that comes along with it. A couple layers of really important stuff. Stuff that, if you put policies first tends to get put at risk. It’s a delicate balance that is difficult to maintain .

So, what we end up with is something that looks like this:

Hey, if the top layers crumble at
least we have our policies, right?

It gets worse though. What we actually end up with is something that looks like this:

Once this starts to tip, the whole
mess comes tumbling down.

Either way, it’s a precarious state. So by only looking at the policy part of the picture, what are you sacrificing? What’s at risk because you’re focused on a different part of the triangle?

Two things:

  1. Rights & Freedoms
  2. Democracy
Rights and freedoms are found in the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms. If you are Canadian you are entitled to them. Full stop. They are not up for debate or vote. The Charter is upheld by the Supreme Court of Canada. In a nutshell, these fine folks make sure our lawmakers and justice system stays fair and equitable. I’ve represented this as a layer called “Constitution”:
The U.S. has one of these too. They’re pretty serious
about it, as anyone with one should be

Democracy is all the wonderful stuff that happens in a free society. In Canada at the federal level, it involves Parliament (the House of Commons) and the Senate (the Upper Chamber, a.k.a. the house of “sober second thought”). Members of Parliment (MPs) are elected and Senators are appointed by the Prime Minister. These are all the fine folks who create or change laws and draw up all those wonderful policies everyone is such a fan of. I’ve represented this as a layer called “Government”:

Democracy happens here
(or at least it’s supposed to)

These two items are the very important layers on which policies are built, not the other way around.

 This is how things shape up; the playing field for the most important game you’re ever going to play:
Why can’t we just have a nice right-side-up
triangle? Is that too much to ask?

So before you vote you should take a long, hard look at if everyone is on level footing. If one party breaks away and starts playing by a different set of rules, then everything they do afterwards is, in my opinion, not worth a squirt of piss.

Back in 2011 I blogged a lot about the election and I tried to keep a pretty even keel about it all. This time around things are different. Why? Because I’ve seen Canada’s Charter disrespected too many times in the last 9 years to stay quiet any longer. Because I’ve seen our democracy whittled down to nothing. Because our foundation is cracked and our system is broken. Not all of that is the fault of the current government, but the lion’s share of it is. 

 So, let’s take a look at the PM and his band of merry Conservatives and see how they have treated the bottom two layers of that triangle – the important layers – the foundation of our free and democratic society.

Constitution:

Not a very rosy picture. It doesn’t take long to notice that Mr. Harper and his MPs don’t exactly have a healthy respect for our constitution.

Grade: FAIL

Government / Democracy:

  • The only Prime Minister to ever be found in contempt of Parliament
  • Two separate Conservative convictions for improper election spending (2006 & 2008)
  • Conservative conviction for election tampering in 2011

One has to wonder what they have in store for 2015? 

 This would be a good time to pull out a quote from Stephen Harper himself. He said this of Liberal leader Jean Chrétien in the wake of the sponsorship scandal:

“He is the leader and a leader is responsible for the actions of the people he leads.”

Wow. If we put that statement to the test against the laundry list of crimes against democracy and Charter violations Mr. Harper has some explaining to do. The Conservatives have three separate convictions for crimes against our democratic system and Harper himself was found guilty of contempt of parliament. Now that’s what I call leadership! 

 But it gets even better:

  • The “fair” elections act. This gem actually makes it harder for people to vote and ties the hands of Elections Canada (oh, and takes polling station volunteer selection out of their hands altogether) 
  • Lack of meaningful debate and expert testimony for Bill C-51
  • Massive omnibus bills – lumping in completely unrelated legislation in together. Two, in particular, were several hundred pages and involved over 100 different pieces of legislation 
  • Oh, let’s not forget about the misuse and abuse of the Senate
All of the above, and then some are wonderfully summed up by The Tyee in these two articles: 

Grade: FAIL

Can we just call the last 9 years a momentary lapse of reason? 

 Remember, all of the above should be considered before we even talk about a single policy. Quite frankly, a government that behaves this way is an insult to democracy and anyone who actually votes for it might as well look their children in the eye and say, “It’s okay to be a bully so long as you get what you want in the end.” 

 Wake up! The ends do not justify the means. 

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojf18wT_Xtk]
Is it only a dream that there’ll be no more turning away?


 There is good news, though. If enough people vote together we can at least start rebuilding our democracy from a solid foundation. Elect a government that supports and encourages a strong, hard working democracy and it will implement policies that benefit Canada as a whole. Targeted policies implemented on top of a false democracy only benefit a privileged few. Maybe you’re okay with that? I am not. I care too much about my neighbour to spit on his shoes and then lie right to his face and tell him it’s raining. 

 Don’t spit on your neighbours shoes. It’s a really shitty thing to do and it’s very un-Canadian. 

This time around, make better choices. Me? I’m voting for the candidate in my riding with the best chance of beating the Conservative. Many others are doing this as well and there’s a great organization out there that can help you make the right choice. Together we can change Canada for the better.

Most of all, be careful. It’s dangerous out there:

Helpful links:

~ Andrew 
(Note: the views expressed here are my own and are in no way affiliated with any other individual or organisation)

Miss You, Miss You

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As you may have seen in my last post (re-post, actually) I recently lost a friend. He was probably the second or third guy I met when I arrived at the University of Waterloo and it was in his dorm room on North A in Village 2 that my wife and I were first properly introduced. That was pretty darn close to 22 years ago to the day that a heart attack took him from this world for whatever is beyond.

 
Riaz, our daughter, and me. Breakfast at a diner in Toronto – 2005(?)

Obviously, this came as a total shock to my wife and me and everyone who knew him. I’m still kind of dumbfounded and in a daze over it. Someone I’ve known since first or second grade sent me a message of condolence and asked me to tell her a story about him. One, she said, that would make me smile. So, I did, and it made me feel a little less depressed about his passing and a little more focused on the good times we had together – and there were quite a few. I shared the story with his brother and a few coworkers, and in one of my writers’ groups, and every time I did I managed a smile instead of a tear.

So now I’m sharing it with you.

***

Riaz and I spent a lot of time together in our first year of university. We were both a couple of physics geeks with impeccable musical taste (the principal difference being he could actually play and I even suck at air guitar). Now, just a few minutes from our dorm was the upper-year dorm, Village 1, and within it a glorious variety store / food place called “The Village Grill”. Staffed by upper-year kids it was the go-to place for starving students and guys like Riaz and I looking for a snack. There was this one girl that worked there that Riaz was in love with. All I remember is that she was ridiculously cute and Ri was infatuated with her. I swear he burned through more of his meal plan at The Grill over everywhere else combined just because she worked there.

Riaz (center) jamming with Scott (right) and some other dude, 1993.
A rare shot without his “P-Man” sweatshirt on. His Canucks jersey was a close second 

One snowy night Riaz and I finished our homework (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it) and a bunch of us were going cafeteria tray sledding at the hill across the road. It was then (after we finished our homework), that I got this brilliant idea to saw a cafeteria tray in half and crazy glue the pieces to the bottom of my boots. After tray-boggoning, or tray-skiing in my case, the plan was to have Riaz pull me around the parking lot as I held on to the back bumper of his car (genius, I know).

Right about when we were all ready to go we got a hankering for some chips and we decided to head to The Grill to take care of the craving. The only problem was I had these damn pieces of fibreglass stuck to my feet. Screw it, we wanted chips, nay, we needed chips. So, off we went. We had no coats, no hats, and no gloves. We were just two guys in blue jeans and flannel shirts (this was 1993 after all) walking to the store to get some food – one of them with two halves of a lunch tray glued to his boots.

Everything was fine until I slipped off the path.

It wasn’t a big slope, but when all you’ve got is the smooth underside of a tray to walk on, any slope at all sends you in a downward direction. I slid off the path and down a small hill. No word of a lie it was only 12 feet down and had a maximum grade of about 5 degrees. Still, down I went. I tried to walk “herringbone” style up the hill but could not.

I was trapped.

Meanwhile, Riaz was giggling uncontrollably at the top of this “hill”. After letting me flounder for a few minutes while he regained his composure, he came down to give me a hand. The only problem was he couldn’t get me up the hill either. Being the physics geniuses that we were we tried quite a few things with the successful approach being I would lie on my side and he would roll me uphill like a log. To this day, I have no explanation as to why I didn’t just get on my hands and knees and crawl up the stupid hill. For certain, at the time the idea never crossed either of our minds. What should have been a 4 or 5-minute stroll ended up taking around half an hour.

We get to The Grill and we’re laughing so hard tears are running down our cheeks and freezing in the cold air. My hair (I used to have long floppy bangs) was frozen up in this crazy spike, we were soaked head to toe from all the rolling around in the snow, our eyes were red and swollen from all the laugh-crying, and I still had two halves of a cafeteria tray crazy glued to my boots.

Party in Riaz’s Room – 1993 (that’s me on top)

We opened the door and the only person in the place is the cute girl behind the counter. We just stood there scratching our heads and staring at our feet while she took a good long look at us. After a few seconds, we look up and she’s shaking her head. “Chips are over there,” she said pointing to a rack in the corner. Then, she turned around to pretend to clean something. I could see her shoulders bobbing up and down as she laughed into her dish towel. We stepped up to the counter to pay and she’s still stifling laughter. “Have a nice night, boys,” she said as we exited the store. I can still hear her laughter as the door shut.

Riaz in one of his pensive moments, 1993

After a minute, Riaz looks to me and, with his face full of Cool Ranch Doritos says, “Well, shit. What do you think my chances are now?” Without hesitation I replied, “Pretty bad, man, but I have a feeling they are way better than mine.” Riaz just nodded and we both started to laugh uncontrollably for the second time in half an hour. We walked back to our dorm without speaking, but the laughter didn’t stop for several hours.

Epilogue:
Tray-skiing was a complete failure. I spent an hour falling down a hill for real and never managed so much as one decent run. Cafeteria tray parking lot bumper hitching, on the other hand, was an incredible success (except for having to saw off a layer of my boot soles to get the cafeteria trays off).

Rest in peace, brother.

Don’t worry, Ri, we will never forget about you.
Me, Sven, and Riaz at a Kegger he threw back in 1994

 

Riaz completely done-in at EdgeFest, 1996

 

The Sound of Music – Part 2

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Welcome to Part 2 of the thing where I share my Top 5 albums of all time. Think of this as a “desert island” list. You know, “If you could only have one CD with you while you’re stranded on a desert island which one would it be?” – only instead of one, I’m taking five (if you can only pick one then you need to listen to more music. Hopefully, my list will guide you toward a future Top 5 choice for yourself.

As a reminder here is the main criteria that went into making my choices:

  • Number of songs I like on the album (i.e. the fewer songs I skip over, the better)
  • Composition of the album (i.e. are the songs arranged in an order I find pleasing?)
  • Memories invoked when I hear a song from the album
  • Emotional impact of the album (i.e. how does listening to it make me feel?)

Last time, I shared some thoughts about the Irish pop/rock megaband U2’s fifth (and breakthrough) album The Joshua Tree. This week we’re going in the complete opposite direction and talking about a little-known Canadian indie/folk/rock band whose debut album is heads and butts on top of their entire four-album* catalogue (update: 2017’s “Do the Right Now” makes it a five-album catalogue and it’s a good listen).

Shakespeare My Butt by The Lowest of the Low

Released 1991
Track Listing:

  1. “4 O’Clock Stop” (7/10)
  2. “So Long Bernie” (7/10)
  3. “Just About ‘The Only’ Blues” (7/10)
  4. “Salesmen, Cheats and Liars” (7/10)
  5. “Rosy and Grey” (9/10)
  6. “Kinda the Lonely One” (8/10)
  7. “Eternal Fatalist” (8/10)
  8. “For the Hand of Magdalena” (8/10)
  9. “Subversives” (9/10)
  10. “Bleed a Little While Tonight” (8/10)
  11. “Bloodline” (8/10)
  12. “St. Brendan’s Way” (8/10)
  13. “Letter from Bilbao” (8/10)
  14. “Under the Carlaw Bridge” (7/10)
  15. “The Taming of Carolyn” (8/10)
  16. “Gossip Talkin’ Blues” (6/10)
  17. “Henry Needs a New Pair of Shoes” (8/10)
The songs are put together quite well with most of the album upbeat folksy stuff. It’s really hard to listen to that album end-to-end and not be in a good mood. As for the number of songs on the album that I like? Well, if you look at the ratings I gave them (in parenthesis above) I pretty much like all of them and a few are home to some lyrics that I just love to sing out loud:

  • “Her mother’s worst fears are confirmed / She’s taken off with some musician / (Holy shit!)” (from Taming of Carolyn)
  • “Well, I’ve kissed you in France and I’ve kissed you in Spain / And I’ve kissed you in places I’d better not name / And I’ve seen the sun go down on Sacre Coeur / But I like it much better goin’ down on you / Ah, you know that’s true” (from Rosey and Grey)
  • “And if they had genitalia they’d have frozen their nuts off” (from Henry Needs a New Pair of Shoes)
There are so many memories involving so many of these songs it’s hard to corral them into a single paragraph. For starters, it seemed like this album was on repeat for all of 1994 when I spent a considerable portion of my time at the local on-campus pub, The Bombshelter (or, as it is better known, The Bomber), at the University of Waterloo. I hung out with the folks that would become friends I still see today and one particular girl who would go on to be my wife. Funny story, she and I would go on to see LotL on my birthday in 2002 and gave our soon-to-be firstborn child her first taste of good live music. In 2004 while white water rafting just outside of Ottawa a guitarist at the hostel we were camping at played “Rosey and Grey” as part of his set. A bunch of us Bomber alum sang along, giving the bar quite a show and garnering applause from the dude with the guitar. An even funnier story, one of our daughter’s first live concerts (out of the womb this time) came just a few years ago. We took the kids to the Toronto Urban Roots Festival and LotL played a short set on the main stage.
Quite simply, this album makes me feel happy, and whenever one of the tracks comes on my iPod I turn it up and sing along as loud as I can (and as best as I can considering I’m terrible at remembering lyrics).
~ Andrew
* Hallucegenia (1994), Nothing Short of a Bullet (live w/ 3 studio tracks, 2001), Sordid Fiction (2004) – an album I didn’t even remember existed until today

The Sound of Music – Part 1

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More than five years ago I did a quick little “Top 5” post in homage to the film High Fidelity. The post was a simple 45-word paragraph (including the subheader) that listed my top 5 albums of all time. Well, I’ve decided to update the list and while much of it is the same, there are a couple of changes. You might be wondering what’s happened in the last five years that has led me to change my mind. If you think about it, that list should remain fairly static (I mean, seriously, could an album released in the last five years actually qualify as one of the “best ever”?)

Music is a big part of my family, not that any of us are particularly musically inclined (the kids tried to learn guitar at one point and I have taken voice lessons, but that’s about it). We do listen to it frequently though and everyone has a strong appreciation for it. After my last concussion, I found myself feeling quite thankful for any memory that I was able to recall, and as it turns out, music happens to provide a great “jog” for the ole memory keeper (my long term memory is actually pretty good, but my working memory is complete shite). For me, so many factors go into what makes an album The Best of All Time, and one of those factors is the memories that are invoked when a song from the album comes on the radio or through my iPod when I’m in the car.

Andrew singing as part of the band Speed of Light Lab with Jason Cassidy on guitar,
Joshua Hofstetter on drums, Jason Dykstra on bass, and Robb Farago on cello/harmonica.

Other factors include:

  • Number of songs I like on the album (i.e. the fewer songs I skip over, the better)
  • Emotional impact of the album (i.e. how does listening to it make me feel?)
  • Composition of the album (i.e. are the songs arranged in an order I find pleasing?)
I’ll list the albums in the proper Top 5 order when I’m done but for now let’s take a more detailed look at one of them in the list. I’ll do this for the next five weeks and end the last post with the ordered list. For now, in no particular order, let’s take a look at one of my Top 5 Albums of All Time:
 
 
Released March 9, 1987
Track Listing:
  1. “Where the Streets Have No Name” (8/10)
  2. “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” (8/10)  
  3. “With or Without You” (7/10)
  4. “Bullet the Blue Sky” (6/10)
  5. “Running to Stand Still” (8/10)
  6. “Red Hill Mining Town” (7/10)
  7. “In God’s Country” (7/10)
  8. “Trip Through Your Wires” (6/10)  
  9. “One Tree Hill” (8/10)
  10. “Exit” (6/10)
  11. “Mothers of the Disappeared” (8/10)

I’ve ranked the songs (in parenthesis) so you can see how it stacks up in terms of the “number of songs I like on the album” criteria. Only two of the eleven tracks would rank low on my list and even then I don’t not like them, I just don’t find them as good as the rest of the tracks on the album.

As for the composition of the album, I think producers Brian Eno and Daniel Lanois struck a good balance with the tracks. It has a great flow, with some ups and downs, while still keeping the overall tone of the album constant. The opening track “Where the Streets Have No Name” is, in my opinion, one of the most iconic opening tracks on any album ever and is featured as the opening of the band’s movie Rattle and Hum movie based on their Joshua Tree tour from 1987-1988.

How does the album make me feel? Nostalgic and wistful. Contemplative and concerned. Listening to this album, and most of the individual songs on it makes me feel like I’ve lived a great life but still have great things ahead of me.

As for the memories invoked by listening to this album, well, there are many. I remember stuffing envelopes as a fundraiser for my hockey team and one of the coaches had a company that made binders and other back-to-school type stuff. He was licensed to sell Joshua Tree binders (black with a gold outline of the tree from the album cover on it). The team spent the afternoon listening to that album and stuffing envelopes for 5¢ a piece (or something like that).

I remember in the summer of 1987 I was at summer camp and there was a counsellor named Roop who wore a black Joshua Tree t-shirt. He was one of the coolest counsellors in the place and him wandering around in that t-shirt is burned into my brain. I can even tell you what cabin he was standing in front of the first time I saw him wearing it.

Most of all, I remember the craft hut at camp. The summer of 1988 I was in cabin 12. It’s the cabin that, due to some large trees in the way, was set back from the others in cabin row. Of course, there were lots of stories about why the cabin was set so far back and they were all some variation of a serial killer / monster story set on scaring the pants off you. That didn’t happen, we were all 14 and very little rattled us, but one effect this did have was to give cabin 12 a sense of uniqueness, rebellion, and outcast.

One day I had a free period and everyone went off to the rec hall to do something silly. It was raining and I wasn’t feeling up to shenanigans so I wandered off to the craft hut. I was a scrawny kid with long blond bangs and still quite awkward. I wasn’t exactly Romeo with the ladies and while not un-cool I never exactly achieved full cool status. The craft hut was filled with some girls from cabin 2 (same age as me) and I just walked in and sat down at a table with five or six of them and started working on a gimp bracelet. Didn’t say a word.

The final riff from The Edge’s guitar on the opening track of Joshua Tree was playing and when track two started playing I started to sing along, quietly, as I made my craft. A few of the other girls started to sing as well, and soon it turned into a full blown sing along. We spent the rest of the hour singing along and crafting with that album playing. In fact, I can’t recall a single piece of conversation that happened in the hour I was there. I’m sure there must have been some, but it sure didn’t feel like it. It was just me, ten girls from cabin 2, a couple counsellors, and U2.

For 60 minutes in the summer of 1988, I found what I was looking for.

~ Andrew

A Little Flash Fiction to Get Back Into The Groove

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It’s been a lazy summer and I haven’t done enough writing. Only one more installment of my serial novel was released (we’re up to three now) and I haven’t blogged in forever. So, with that in mind, I present a little flash fiction I entered into a contest over at the OCH Literary Society (the same folks who are kind enough to publish my serial installments whenever I manage to finish them). I didn’t win, but I thought it was good enough to share. Also, I’m posting on Monday now. #MondayBlogs

The photo that inspired the words:










The words:

Greg sits down in the pew and looks up at the cross hanging above the altar when he hears a familiar voice.


Can I help you?

Unsurprised, Greg stares at the cross, then to his feet. “I don’t think so.”

Then why are you here?

Greg shifts his weight. “I’m not really sure.”

I think you are.

“I’m not.”

Yet, here you are. You must have known I could help.

“I don’t know shit.”

Yet, here you are.

“For now.” Greg stands up and pretends to stretch.

You think I can help.

“I’m not sure anyone can help.”

I’m not just anyone.

“Says you.”

Says a lot of people.

Greg looks around at the sheer opulence of the cathedral. “I’m not convinced.”

Is that why you’re here? To be convinced?

“Hrmf.”

Greg leaves the church, gets on his bike, and rides home. Alone in his kitchen, he drops two slices of stale bread into the toaster, sits down at the table, and lights a smoke.

Will that help? Smoking, that is.

Greg smacks his hand down on the table. “Oh, for fuck’s sake! You again?”

You seem agitated.

“No shit! What makes you think that?”

You said you needed to be convinced.

Greg stands up and pushes his chair backward. It slams against the wall. “I never said I needed anything.”

Yet, here I am.

The toaster pops. Greg gets up to fetch it. “Is that how this works? Someone suffers a crisis of conscience and you just show up and follow them around until they…”

Until they what?

Greg waives his toast in the air. “Never mind.”

Until they…

Greg swallows a large bite of toast and sits back down at the table. “Until they do the right thing?”

In a manner of speaking, yes.

“In a manner of speaking. You’re such an asshole.” Greg takes another bite of toast.

Would it surprise you to know I’ve been called worse?

“Nothing surprises me anymore.”

When did that start?

“Jesus, what are you? My shrink?”

Again, I’ve been called worse, but I am here to help.

“You certainly got a funny way of showing it.”

I prefer the word ‘mysterious’.

Greg looks at his half-eaten toast and throws it across the kitchen into the sink. Muttering nonsense and sucking the last few drags out of his cigarette he walks to his bedroom and pulls out a black leather wrap tied together with a black silk string. Unraveling the leather pouch he can’t help but notice the silence. Such sweet, beautiful silence. More than anything else Greg enjoys the quiet. The voice only stops from the moment he pulls out his kit to the moment he wakes up. There used to be two voices, but the other one seems to have given up. Greg suspects it was killed by the voice that remains; the one that only leaves him alone when he’s like this.    

The rubber tourniquet pulling at the hair on Greg’s arm wakes him. Picking himself up off the bathroom floor he leans over the sink and splashes water onto his face. He looks in the mirror, half expecting to see someone else.

“I fucking hate you.”

You’ll get over it. See you tomorrow?

Greg vomits into the sink. Spitting on the mirror and clutching the porcelain basin he stares straight ahead. “Go to hell.”

As you wish.

#LoveWins

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You may have heard, the Supreme Court of the United States made a landmark decision on Friday. Just like that [snaps fingers] same-sex marriage became legal in all 50 states. Suffice it to say that America and a good part of the rest of the world went completely nuts (mostly in a good way).

#LoveWins was immediately trending on Twitter and if you use the hashtag they will throw in a little rainbow coloured heart just for kicks.

Rainbow themed profile pictures cropped up on Facebook and started multiplying like Gremlins after a nice long bath. I used the Facebook rainbow profile pic generator and at 7:05 pm on Friday, June 26, I changed my profile picture to this:

By 10:00 am the next morning I counted 57 of my 443 Facebook friends with a rainbow or otherwise equality themed profile picture.

By 2:15 pm the day following the decision I counted 80.

By 8:45 pm the number was up to 97 (my friends list was also down to 440 – more on that later).

When I woke up this morning the number was 108!

A good number of other people had also made comments about not changing their profile pic but in full support of it. I hope they never change them back. I love the look of my news feed now. Nothing goes better with pictures of cats than pictures of rainbows.

The White House was even lit like a rainbow that night – and it was absolutely gorgeous. Scores of corporations changed their avatars or sent out product-themed equality messages. This one is my favourites:

You should take a look at this article which listed 35 of the most notable

I like the above image for a couple of reasons. First, I think the way they used their products to create a rainbow was quite clever. “Look at how diverse our brands are!” Second, the message that “Labels are for Products. Not People.” is bang on. Lastly, I like that P&G did this because they are a BIG company. They’re not the biggest company to come out in support of equality, but they have more brands and products than I can name, and for them to show this kind of support with such an on-point message, in such a creative way, deserves a tip of the cap.

Now, in case it wasn’t clear: this decision is a big deal. This is on par with Roe v. Wade and is one hell of an equality bombshell of a decision.

It’s not all bubblegum and rainbows though and as expected, not everyone was on board. Just like the abortion debate, it will continue to rage. Just like equal rights for women, there is still much work to do. Just like systemic and institutionalized racism, hatred still runs rampant.

There is a list of companies that are against it and have been for a while. Some you may have heard of and some may surprise you (it’s an 18-month-old list so apologies in advance if times have changed for any of these. From what I can tell, they haven’t):

There are also scores of politicians, pundits, and prognosticators in the U.S. that have gone completely bat shit crazy (even one of the dissenting voters from SCOTUS flew off the handle). I can’t imagine Vladimir Putin has any nice things to say about Barack Obama either (not that he ever does anyway). Even in Canada, where as of tomorrow (June 29) same-sex marriage will celebrate 10 years of being federally enshrined, our Prime Minister has been mysteriously silent. Nary a tweet of congratulations from the leader of a nation that prides itself on equality.

Let’s not forget that in several states a person can still be discriminated against and lose their job for simply being gay. The Center for American Progress has a great infographic that outlines how far the U.S. still has to go on this issue.

But all is not lost. There are more than a hundred people among my Facebook friends alone that will support this fight, and there are literally millions more out there. Some of the biggest corporations in America are even on board and that’s going to make a big difference. because in the good ole U-S-of-A money talks, baby!

So keep marching forward gays and allies. For the future; there is hope, and today; love wins.

~ Andrew

Father of the Year

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Fathers.

We’re a strange lot, aren’t we? Active participants in the creation of a child, but relegated to the sidelines to watch for nine months after conception. I found it a really weird spot to be in and the idea of a child growing inside my wife was just mind boggling. Watching her give birth to our kids is sitting atop my list of the most awe-inspiring events I have ever witnessed. Second place is so far removed from this that you can hardly consider it a list. It looks something like this:

Once your child is born, your job as a father is to be a teacher; a role model. Your kids will look to you for advice and guidance, and you best be prepared because they will ask you questions and do things that you’ve never even dreamed of. I find that most of the time I just have to think WAY back to when I was young and carefree to figure out how to respond.

When I broke my arm the first thing I did was find my father and look for him to take care of me and get me to the hospital, so when I saw my 18-month old son running through the living room and take a nasty header the first thing I did was run over to him to pick him up. Of course, this was just a couple days after my vasectomy so when I bent down to pick him up I got him off the ground to about knee height and the pain in my nuts was so intense that I dropped him. The point is I was there to drop him in the first place.

Me, my little brother, and our dad – taking in an inter-county baseball game

When I was learning how to play sports, whether it was baseball or hockey or either of my ill-fated single seasons of soccer or lacrosse, my dad was there to show me the ropes and help me practice, so when my little girl wanted to start playing soccer the first thing I did was head over to the park to kick the ball around with her. When trying to encourage her to run like the wind after the ball I couldn’t resist kicking it as hard and far as I could into the wide open field so she could chase it. Of course, the odds of me hitting her right in the middle of her face with the ball and knocking her over were astronomical. The point is I was there to kick a soccer ball into her face in the first place.

When I wanted a haircut my dad would take me across town to his barber and read the newspaper while this old Italian guy would fix me up with the perfect haircut, so when my son wanted a mohawk the first thing I did was get out the clippers. Okay, this one of those times where deviating from the fatherly guidance I received would work out, right? Of course, realizing that we had a big family photo shoot next week, I opted for no mohawk and ended up shaving his head and “ruining his life”. The point is I had well maintained professional hair clippers to use in the first place.

Lastly, when I wanted to know how to behave and what words to use for any given situation I would keep a keen ear open for what my father was saying. He was a very well-read man with an English degree and always chose his words carefully, so when my wife sent me running upstairs to get the camera because our daughter was doing something cute and I heard, “Never mind. She stopped doing it,” I naturally yelled out, “Shit!” Of course, this would have to be the precise moment our daughter would choose to speak her first distinguishable word. The point is she’s going to need words a lot worse than that out in the real world and I’d rather she learn them at home first instead of on the street or the Internet. How else would I have been able to take her to see her first movie rated 14A last night? I’d like to think the solid foundation of expletives I’ve taught her more than prepared her for the movie Spy, which didn’t quite rival Wolf of Wall Street for f-bombs but still had a fuckload of swearing in it (and two brief glimpses of a penis).

In another mind-boggling mystery, I can’t quite figure out why I haven’t received my Father of the Year award yet. There’s always next year, I guess.

Happy Father’s Day to my dad (whose own award is in the mail I’m sure) and to all the other dads out there lucky enough to have kids as great as mine.

My kids “Princess Pants” and (The) “Dude”

~ Andrew

You Owe Me Nothing

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I was going to do a completely different post this week, but then I came across this train wreck of a comments thread on Goodreads and I just had to voice my thoughts on it. Unfortunately, the author (of the book, not the review) has since deleted all of his comments, fortunately, some genius decided to capture it via archives.is (which should scare the crap out of anyone who suffers from the delusion that they can post something online and then bury it later).

http://archive.is/rFgtE

I had to read the whole thread because apparently I enjoy the carnage of watching someone completely self-destruct. Every time the author commented I would think, he can’t possibly make this any worse, and then he went and made it worse. The real work of art here is how he swiftly took one negative review of his book and turned hundreds, if not thousands of potential readers into people 100% guaranteed to avoid anything he’s ever written or will ever write. That expression, “There’s no such thing as bad press”? Well, Dylan Saccoccio is finding out the hard way that there are clearly exceptions to that rule.

http://memecrunch.com/meme/6N7MG/picard-do-not-engage/image.jpg

There are many reputable authors out there who will all give a writer the same advice on responding to reader reviews: don’t do it. DO NOT ENGAGE! Reviews on book sites like Goodreads, Amazon, Barns & Noble are not for writers. Reviews are for readers. You can write the best god-damned book the world has ever seen and there will still be people that think it sucks donkey balls. Get over it. You know what should thrill you to the teeth? The fact that someone literally took hours out of their day to spend time with something that you created. You may have even received some money for this transaction. If you are a writer, it’s almost guaranteed to be less than a cup of coffee, but someone out there, probably a complete stranger, spent time AND money on your creation. If that’s not enough for you then I think you’re in the wrong business.

You know what readers owe us? Nothing. Nada. Bupkis. Zilch. Diddly squat. Nothing. Did I say nothing? I did? Well, I’ll say it again, NOTHING. To put it bluntly, readers owe us exactly one-fifth of sweet fuck all.

Robert Niles has a couple great quotes and was speaking as it pertains to reporting, but this sentence is wholly applicable for all types of content:

“They [citizens] have the right, and ability, to go about their lives without ever once glancing at your publication…”

In short, by simply picking up a copy of your book or stopping by your blog and giving your work more than a second glance they’ve already given you a whole lot.

Be thankful for that.

In summary, read my stuff. Maybe you love it, maybe you hate it, or maybe you’re somewhere in between. Either way, I’m glad you spent some time with it. That is, after all, one of the reasons I create it in the first place.

Shameless plugs:

~ Andrew.