You will wipe tears of laughter from your cheeks as you read these hilarious tales of misfortune.
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What You Need To Know
Pregnant and dealing with a bout of morning sickness, Andrew Butters’ soon-to-be mom handed the keys to her car to her husband and asked him to start it up. He cranked the engine and released the clutch, not realizing it was still in gear. The car lurched forward, striking her in the caboose and launching her into the ditch. Thus began her unborn son’s adventures in misfortune.
Told in the style of a friend at the pub recounting a tall tale that begins, “Have I told you about the time…,” Near Death by a Thousand Cuts takes you on a wild and crazy forty-eight-year journey filled with accidents, injuries, and medical procedures guaranteed to make you simultaneously wince and laugh to the point of tears.
“I hope Andrew wrote this book from a soft chair in a padded room wearing a Nerf suit.”
―Dave Hemstad, Comedian (Just For Laughs, CBC’s The Debaters)
Companion “Scientific” Paper
As if these hilarious tales of misfortune weren’t enough, I have co-authored a very accurate and thoroughly scientific paper with Gordon Bonnet.
Inexplicably Normalized Justification of Unusual Recurring Incongruous Event Sounds
What People Are Saying
“I laughed so hard I farted.” ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
“It’s hard to remember the last time we actually laughed out loud while reading, but this memoir by Andrew Butters had us in stitches.” ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
“Just finished it yesterday and I laughed so hard (and winced so hard) that I may or may not have peed a little. More than once. And I laughed so hard during the last three chapters that I had to use my inhaler. It’s THAT good.” ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
“His style is great–hilarious, brutally honest, and self-deprecating.” ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
“It belongs on every bookshelf.” ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
“Andrew is a fantastic storyteller” ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
“SO much fun to read” ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
“Butters’ ability to weave a tale in a self-deprecating but hilarious way is most impressive.” ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐