Plotter vs. Pantser

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Most of my life is organized. There’s a calendar on the fridge. Everyone has a colour and there’s even a legend, because I’m also remarkably forgetful and can’t often remember which colour is for whom. I have a writing schedule that I keep. Well, I keep a schedule, but I don’t keep to the schedule – I’m also remarkably lazy. At my day job I’m a project manager, every moment filled with schedules, spreadsheets, and deliverables.  My job is infinitely easier when it’s organized. Come to think of it, so is my life.  With writing I have found that there are two main camps – with the natural combinations, variations, and hybrids that tend to evolve from these sorts of things: 

  • Plotters; and
  • Pantsers.


Plotters plot. They map out ideas and organize them well ahead of putting words on a page. Pantsers are the opposite, opting to start with an idea that’s often barely an idea, and then they wing it, or as the name suggests, they “fly by the seat of their pants”.

So, when it comes to writing, what method do you think I would gravitate towards? In more ways than you can guess I’m a lot like a teenage boy. He meticulously takes care of his car; keeping it running smoothly, clean as a whistle on the inside (you could eat off the floor mats if you were allowed food in the car), and expertly polished on the outside. The bedroom, however, is a complete and total disaster. 

That’s right; when it comes to writing I’m a 99.9% pantser, which is a bit ironic considering my extreme dislike of wearing pants. I say 99.9% because before I sit down to write anything, I have some idea of what I’m going to do. It’s not often more than a vague idea of what the topic or scene is about, but it’s something so I can’t truly say that I’m a perfect pantser. Close, but not perfect. 

I know many writers that are plotters (a.k.a. planners). I even know one that has taken it to a very impressive level. My friend Wren Emerson plans her writing like she’s drawing up schematics for a nuclear submarine. It’s impressive and it works for her. She wrote a nice blog post about her process if you’re interested. I bookmarked it in the unlikely event that I decide to map something out before I sit down to write. That was more than a year ago and I’ve clicked on the link once. 

I’m undecided as to which method is “better”. I think most people will tell you that it’s a personal choice and you have to go with what you’re most comfortable. That being said, there will always be people who will tell you to do it their way. These also happen to be the same people who will tell you what type of underwear to put on in the morning. We have a name for folks like this: assholes. Just ignore them and move on. How you get from the spark of an idea to the finished product is as unique to an individual as their choice of clothing.

So what are you? Do you wear pants, and fly by the seat of them, or do you plan out each choice article by article? Either way, I’d recommend underwear of some kind. It helps reduce chafing. 

For the record, I will also put one other age-old question to rest: 

Boxers. 

~Andrew 

An Open Letter to Writers

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Dear Writers,

At this early stage in my writing career I thought it would be a good idea offer some of my insights into this fabulous craft that we are all so passionate about. You’ll find that throughout this letter I have a fondness for certain phrases, have a certain style, and am wonderfully all over the place in the area of grammar and punctuation (my blog posts do not have the benefit of an amazing editor, or an editor of any kind, so you get what you get).

At this point I am convinced there are at least four things that every writer possesses:

  1. A desire to be a writer; 
  2. at least one idea; 
  3. a great support network; and
  4. something with which to write.

Naturally, to actually become a writer there are dozens upon dozens of other qualities, qualifications, and quirks you must possess, but in my opinion if you don’t have those four you’re not setting yourself up for success. Far be it for me, an unpaid, unpublished, part-time scribe to impart any advice; but I think those items are absolutely key – especially the third one. Contrary to the idea that writing is a solitary pursuit, I am finding that it actually requires quite a bit of input, feedback, and support from the many sources around me.

I am also in the extremely fortunate situation of having had a job working for someone else (and have since graduating from university), but for a lot of people writing is their job. It’s a very real one, and at the rate my daughter is reading books it’s a darned good thing they do it.

I have all the items from the list above and actually have something to show for it (writing wise) but I would only consider myself to be a part time writer. Due to my full time employment, my wife and kids, and all the activities that go along with them and the rest of the family and my friends, and all the costs and bills that come along as a result, I’m at the point that I need steady income in order to maintain the lifestyle I have chosen. I could cut back in a lot of areas and have some more time and money on hand but I suspect I’d be less fulfilled in many ways (hint: success and fulfillment have nothing to do with money).

There are times though, when I just feel compelled to create and this is where my support network really shines. I meet my commitments to my job and my family and in return they shower me with everything I need to bring my ideas to life. My job offers a work-life balance like none other. My wife will let me spitball ideas, or she will give me tips, or just sit and listen to me ramble, or she’ll just leave me the hell alone. Heck, she said she’d go to the gym on her own after the kids go to bed so I can have an hour a night to just sit and write. Speaking of kids, mine are the greatest source of inspiration a person could ask for. They breathe life into my words even on topics they can’t comprehend. My family is extremely supportive as well – especially my in-laws – and so are all my friends. I look forward to the day when some of them are beta readers for my novel (plus, I owe Neil Hedley a signature on his copy of my book at some point).

Unfortunately, I know some of you are actively discouraged from writing. Some of you are either published authors or aspiring to be, who have people in your life that would rather have you do something else. Anything else, in some cases. Your comments on this vary, but there seems to be an underlying theme: “When are you going to get a real job?”

Another common theme seems to be that many of these not-so-supportive comments come from the mouths of your family members: mothers, fathers, spouses, siblings, and the people closest to you. Now, I don’t know about any of your personal situations or have any of the history behind your interactions so I’ve only been exposed to one side of the story. If I have learned anything from my thirty[mumble] years on Earth, it’s that one side of a story is not enough to know the whole story. What I do know is that you are passionate about what you are doing, you are good at it, and you are remarkably supportive of others who choose to go down this path.

So I will close with this:

If you have the desire, the idea, and the something with which to write; and support is the only thing missing, then you have to do whatever you can do to find it. I’m not saying sell all your things, leave your spouse and kids, stop calling your mother, and move into a writer’s commune, but I do think you owe it to yourself to find that support and try to work it into your life.

I can promise you that I’ll do what I can to support you in a similar way that the people close to me are doing. I value the work that you do, and am grateful to have developed friendships with so many of you who do it.

~Andrew

Hockey’s Back. Who Cares?

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After the last NHL season lost due to a lockout of the players by the league, I, like just about every other crazy hockey fan, was so happy just to have it back that I scooped up tickets like nobody’s business. Hell, all of the fans rewarded the league and its players with record crowds (and revenues) for the next several years. This past June, when hockey ended and the Stanley Cup was hoisted, and everyone in the world knew the collective bargaining agreement was coming to an end, what do you think the NHL and NHLPA did about it?

Nothing.

Both the league and its players just sat on their butts like a 4th line goon benched for picking one too many fights. In fact, it was well into the fall before any negotiations worth mentioning took place. Hell, half the season, the All Star Game, and the Winter Classic had to be cancelled before any real talking happened at all – and even then only the threat of billions of dollars in anti-trust lawsuits and the cancellation of an entire season got a deal done. In January. Almost 7 months AFTER both sides should have done something about it.

I know that hockey is big business and there are several hundred elite athletes and 30 ownership groups that invest a lot of time, energy, and money into the fastest team sport on ice. I get it. It’s not simple, and when that many people are involved and that much is at stake, you can’t just snap your fingers and make something happen. I don’t expect that and neither did any other hockey fan. What we did expect is that both sides would to SOMETHING. Instead, both sides did nothing for a painstaking long time, and after that all we got was posturing and mud slinging.

So how will we the fans reward the NHL and NHLPA for their antics? Probably with sellout crowds for the shortened season and record sales in merchandise. That seems to be how these things go. Now the “experts” are saying that this time around things will be different but I’m not so sure. I for one don’t plan on giving the NHL or NHLPA a dime for many years if I can help it and I have a few friends who are of the same opinion. But the problem is that for every one of us there is another ten people with more money than brains and another hundred corporations with deep pockets scooping up the tickets and filling the rinks simply because they can. So, the corporate machine that is professional hockey in North America will continue to spin, albeit with a little less enthusiasm than a year ago. All it will take is an exciting Cup Final and an active off season with respect to trades and momentum will build back up – you just watch.

Mark my words. Bookmark this post and revisit it 18 months from now.

I predict that the NHL will be back into record revenues and crowds before the end of the 2013-2014 season. A few of us will have no part of it, but it’s of little consolation. At least I’ll have a few more dollars in my pocket at the end of the year.

A wise person once said, “As soon as money leaves your hand it stops being yours” and that’s a great quote. The best thing I can think of to do is find a few more ways to ensure that it stays in my hand a bit longer.

~Andrew

P.S.
After the last lockout I was so frustrated with the Toronto Maple Leafs that I declared myself a “free agent fan” and the Ottawa Senators won that free agent battle and along with it my fan support for as long as I gave it to the Leafs – 31 years. Well, unfortunately once the CBA expired and we lost games in the season that “contract” is now null and void. I’m a “free agent fan” once again, only this time I’m not looking for a team… I’m looking for an entire league.

P.P.S.
The early leader is the Ontario Hockey League. There are several teams within an hour’s drive of my house and you can get two tickets for $35 plus free parking. It’s great to take the kids, and we get to see some pretty damn good hockey (the Kitchener Rangers goalie just won a gold medal for the USA in the most recent World Junior Championships).

P.P.P.S
If you want to see the original “free agent fan” story and letter I wrote to all 30 NHL teams you can click the links below to expand the sections (please ignore the fact that my writing back then was terrible).

Original Free Agent Fan Story

The Original Letter

Out With The Old…

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I don’t like New Year’s resolutions. Never have. However, I do think that as civilized people living in a free and democratic society we can collectively do a better job, and this becomes much easier to do if each individual does a little something different in an effort to improve. As such, last January I outlined a few goals for 2012 that went a little something like this:

Leverage some key P’s:

  • Patience 
  • Persistence 
  • Practicality 
  • Positivity 

So how’d I do? Well, I was pretty good at persisting, being practical, and staying positive but patience was a bit of a challenge. To be honest, it always has been so I didn’t expect to knock that one out of the park. For 2013 I plan on leveraging all of those things by doing all of these things:

  • Set goals outside my comfort zone
  • Think ahead more than one step
  • Think more about others
  • Breathe

If being off work for more than two months with a concussion taught me anything in 2011 it was that things do not happen overnight and there will always be setbacks. With that in mind, at the start of 2012 I vowed to do the following:

Work within my limits but always know that it’s in me to do more. 

So how’d I do? Well, I managed to get on stage and sing in front of more than 10 people – twice – and I got a new job and did many more things around the house and with my family than I every thought possible, and you know what? I can do more. So this year I plan on focusing my attention in a slightly different way in an effort to get more out the next 12 months (I will explain this in a minute).

Lastly, I committed to three things that supersede everything else:

Be a better father to my kids;
a better husband to my wife;
and a better friend to all the people in my life.

I think I succeeded on all of these fronts, but as the previous section indicates, I am capable of doing more. So, I will do more:

  • When one of my kids is nearby I will put my laptop or phone aside, and even if they are not desiring my attention, I will give it to them
  • When asked to do something by my wife, I will do it right then or I will set a reminder in my phone if it needs to be done later
  • I will get out and see my friends. This means one event every now and then as well as coffee or tea with individuals at lunch or whenever our schedules align. This also includes golf 🙂
  • I will buy some local art
  • I will read more books written by people I know and I will give them honest and constructive feedback. I would be forever grateful if they would do the same for me

As for the specific goals for last year, I failed to accomplish all but one (the Twitter goal). A couple of them could be considered successes with an asterisk but that’s not the point. The point is to be working towards something and to come closer to figuring out what I want to be when I grow up (without actually having to grow up).

When talking about my web presence with a friend last year he said I needed to focus on one thing; that between my blog… and writing… and photography… and music, that I was spread too thin. He was right. That’s why I’ve decided to focus 2013 on writing. Winning NaNoWriMo, getting a short story published, and seeing so many friends have so much success with their writing is more than enough to light a fire under my ass. Personal, professional, and family goals aside, any goal with a number on it this year has to do with writing. In case you care, here they are:

  • Finish Novel #1 + edit
  • Write Novel #2 + partially edit
  • Win NaNoWriMo (again)
  • Write 2 screenplays (based on the novels)
  • Write 3 short stories + edit
  • Write 1 blog post every week

After I succeed I will have written roughly 300,000 words, and at least a few times I will have the pleasure of writing “The End”.

So, here’s to a great beginning! All the best to you and your loved ones in 2013.

~Andrew

The Next Big Thing

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Back in November, when I was knee deep in NaNoWriMo, Sydney Aaliyah tagged me for a blog hop. I promised I’d get to it once NaNo was over but then December turned into writing for the Orange Karen anthology and then the holiday season around my house (and a few billion other households around the world). 


With all that craziness behind me now, I am pleased to be able to answer a few questions about my upcoming book:

What is the title of your Work in Progress?

I have been writing this story in one form or another for close to a decade. It’s finally taking proper shape as a novel that has gone from being untitled, to having several crappy titles, back to being untitled, and finally landing on “No Known Cure”. 


Where did the idea come from for the book?

The Darwin Awards! No, I’m serious. Back in 2002 I submitted a “Personal Account” to the Darwin Awards website that garnered Top 20 status in votes the following year.  Once I saw those 450 words in print I knew I had to tell a bigger story. What started out as a film about a subtle plea for gun control as told through the eyes of God has, ironically, evolved into a novel about a few people playing God in an effort to control humanity.


What genre does your book fall under?

Mystery Suspense 


Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

  • Peter (first half MC) – Jay Baruchel
  • Roger (Peter’s father) – Dan Aykroyd 
  • Sandra (Peter’s girlfriend) – Zooey Deschanel 
  • Dana (Peter’s co-worker) – Ellen Page
  • Jim (second half MC) – Tim Roth (minus the accent)
  • Sherri (Jims wife) – Lea Thompson


What is a one-sentence synopsis of the book?

My story is about a government agency searching for a man with an astonishing secret whose only goal in life is to remain anonymous and what happens when the two worlds finally collide. 


Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

I am going to try taking the “conventional” route first and see how it goes. I’m actually looking forward to writing my first of many query letters 🙂


How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?

A decade! 🙂 Having a full time nine-to-five job, plus two kids who each take on two activities every week, plus a loving wife that deserves attention, plus a couple other hobbies/businesses (my band and my photography), and time left for writing is pretty slim. The bulk of the novel was written during NaNoWriMo this year. It was supposed to be two books, the second of which I started last year but haven’t completed. I switched gears and now that former WIP will be some later chapters of this book (possibly, we’ll see. There are months of edits ahead for this novel). All told, this book will take about 90 days of actual writing to complete the first draft.


What other books would you compare this story to in your genre?

Think of  Robert Ludlum’s “Bourne” trilogy ,with a hint of Steve Berry, and a little Dan Brown’s “Digital Fortress” thrown in for shits ‘n giggles. I can only dream to be in the same ballpark as these guys some day. For now I’d be thrilled if anyone suggested we were even playing the same sport!


Who or what inspired you to write this book?

Being able to give my parents a copy of my novel is definitely a driving factor. My Dad was an English major and a school principal and my Mom was a teacher, so being able hand them a copy of a published work of mine would be a big deal. Ultimately, I just need to create. For as long as I can remember I have been following a pretty standard path: I got a degree, got a job, got married, bought a house… Everything was all very “normal”… and then my wife and I had children. Everything changes once you have children and for me it brought forward this passion to create. I take such great inspiration from how my kids view the world – and behave within it – that I feel compelled to create and give something back; and show them that they should follow their own inspirations with dedication and passion, and if they do they can be truly happy.


What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

  • 1 cup: Conspiracy
  • 1 cup: Likeable geek gets girl
  • 3/4 cup: Good people setting good examples
  • 1/2 cup: Quiet, introverted genius sticking it to The Man
  • 1/2 cup: Cat & mouse 
  • 1/2 cup: Cloak & dagger 
  • 1/4 cup: Psychological drama
  • 1/4 cup: Bad guys getting away with it 
  • A pinch of torture 
  • A dash of murder


Next up on the blog hop:

~

    The Night Was Poorly Lit and Tumultuous

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    I am what could be classified as a ‘new writer’. Aside from a two page anecdotein the humorous collection “The Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest” I have never been published. I write this blog, of course, but these posts are mostly just random thoughts that eject from my head like the Oort cloud spitting out a comet. Many have come, but only a few have ever been considered wonderful. 
    I have a full time job, and a family, and several other interests outside of writing, but for some reason I am drawn to the art of dreaming up a fabulous story in my head, and translating those thoughts into words, and organizing them in such a way that they transport the reader to a world that is not their own.
    I had this idea to write a screenplay, so I could see my story come to life, but a friend suggested I write it as a book first. He knows me well, and though I fought the idea for some time I eventually came to the same conclusion. So off I went; to write a book. I wasn’t really concerned that I’ve read exactly zero books on how to write, or that I haven’t studied English, literature, or anything remotely related to writing in almost two decades. I’ve read Lynne Truss’ “Eats, Shoots and Leaves”, insist on a single space after a full stop, and will fight to the death over the Oxford comma. That should be good enough, right?
    There are many schools of thought on how to begin writing a book. There are thousands of books/websites/classes/opinionated snobs that will tell you this but in my opinion Kurt Vonnegut sums it up better than anyone else: 

    “You cannot edit a blank page.”
    So, I’m writing a novel and a trilogy of short stories and both are marching along slowly but surely. Then, I heard about the Orange Karen Anthology. Writing communities are close-knit and when one person in this community suffers they all suffer. They also all rally behind each other providing the support necessary to help people through tough times. When a friend of ours was struck by a terrible illness, and racked up ridiculous medical bills in the process, her community rallied to create an anthology with all proceeds going to help her out with the financial costs that have come with surviving.
    In awe of her courage and determination, and proud of the support from her community, I was inspired to submit a story for consideration in the book. Taking a page from Mr. Vonnegut I just wrote it down. It was a story based on real-life events, and it was an emotional one to tell. I had mentioned I was writing it in a Facebook group  and another group member, a friend who wrote alongside me during NaNoWriMo this year, offered her assistance with editing. I happily accepted her offer.
    At first she had some reservations. The topic was very close to me and she didn’t know how I would accept her feedback. But, we both plugged through those uncertainties, fears, and doubts and several versions and emotionally gut wrenching re-writes later we had a finished story to be proud of. It was exhausting, and it was completely worth it. 
    Jennifer Gracen was my editor and she guided me through this process gently, but with expert precision. I am beginning to think it’s no accident that you can find the word “grace” in her last name and the fact that she is a compassionate mother of two beautiful children served her well on this project. From her initial suggestion to write in the third person (I stared by writing it in first person) to her final “I like how you re-worked this”; every bit of red ink on that manuscript was a learning opportunity and it would have been a tragic waste of time for both of us if I would have considered it anything less.
    Jennifer’s job was to tighten my sentence structure, fix my grammar (and my god forsaken tense mix ups), suggest alternate wording, prevent orphaned or complex dialog, and otherwise tease, coax, persuade, charm, lure, sweet-talk, or cajole the right words out of me using whatever methods she felt would work best. Looking back at that first brain dump of words and comparing it with the final version you wouldn’t know that it was written by the same person. 
    My editor made me a better writer.
    I am beyond thankful for all the effort she put into this and I sincerely hope that I will get to work with her again. My only concern now is that she will read this post and notice that I have ignored a lot of what she just taught me. Don’t worry, Jen, not every comet gets to be wonderful.

    It is with all my heart and the utmost compassion that I extend a thank you to my dear wife. The story is more hers than it is mine and she didn’t just let me write it – she gave me the strength to write it and for this I am eternally grateful.

    NaNoWriMovember

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    The month of November is a busy one for me. First, it’s my anniversary on the 6th. This year would mark 13 years of marriage to my wonderful (and wonderfully patient) wife. 


     Then, there is Movember. Movember is an annual charity fundraiser in which men from all over the world shave their face clean on November 1st and then grow a moustache for the entire month, the whole time raising awareness and money for men’s health. This is my 3rd year participating in this event and while not even the cats will come near me for the last half of the month, it’s for a great cause and I’m glad I participate. 

     Finally, November is National Novel Writing Month as defined by The Office of Letters and Light. Every year they issue a challenge to writers everywhere, experienced or aspiring, published or not, good or bad: Write a novel (50,000 words or more) in 30 days. Their tag line for the challenge is “Thirty days and nights of literary abandon,” and is referred to on The Internets simply as NaNoWriMo and this was my 2nd year participating.

     Over the course of the month I experienced many highs and a few lows but when it was all said and done I have to say that it was one of the more successful Novembers I’ve had in a long while. I am not talking about the milestones or experiences either. It would be all fine and dandy if that was all there was to it, but it just so happens that I’ve learned a few things along the way. It is because of this that I can truly say the month was successful.

    A few things I have learned:
    • My kids do not like daddy with a moustache
    • I have a very beautiful, intelligent, and supportive wife
    • I can grow a very creepy looking moustache in 30 days 
    • I can write a novel in 30 days
    • There are millions of people who want to raise awareness and money for men’s health
    • There are millions of people who write, many of them are writers, and a very large number of those people are awesome

    It doesn’t stop with just those items either. Oh no, there is more. In fact, I could go on for several blog posts, but I’ll spare you the time to read all that and just give you the highlights here.

    A few other things I have learned:

    • Writing is hard
    • Writing is easier if you have awesome people around you  
      • This is true for more than just writing. ANYTHING is easier if you have awesome people around you
        • This is where I have to point out that my wife, my friend Susan, everyone in The Lounge on Facebook, and my core word sprint team of Janelle, Amy, Jennifer, and Karen, really helped me out. I can’t thank them enough for their support (but I will try)
    • It is possible to do everything you want if you manage your time properly
      • I suck at managing my time
        • NaNoWriMo helped with this more than I would have thought

    Last year I had an event derail my NaNo efforts mid-month and I never got back on track. I could have, the thing only upset my flow for a day or two, but I didn’t. I cut bait on the whole thing and spent the next 11 months kicking myself and in a rut (writing wise).

    This year’s NaNoWriMo experience challenged me in ways I never thought possible. For starters, let’s take time management. Here are a list of all the things I managed to do in November and approximately the number of times or hours I did them:

    • Eat (1.5 hours/day)
    • Sleep (8 hours/day)
    • Commute (1 hour/day)
    • Work (8 hours/day)
    • Prepare food for family (1 hour/day)
    • Practice guitar with the kids (20 minutes/day)
    • Swimming lessons (1.5 hours/week)
    • Guitar lessons (1 hour/week)
    • Watch movies (2.5 hours/week)
    • Watch TV (2 hours/week)
    • Put up the Christmas lights (once ~3 hours)
    • Attend concerts (Stars & Metric: ~5 hours to get there, watch, and get back)
    • Hockey games! (2 of them: each about 4 hours to get there, watch, and get back)
    • Anniversary dinner (~4 hours to get there, eat, and get back)
    • Snow tire appointment (~1 hour)
    • Dinner out with wife and kids (~1 hour)
    • Dinner at in-laws + Santa Claus Parade (~5 hours total)
    • Take kid to dentist (~ 1.5 hours once)
    • Parent/Teacher interviews (~ 1 hour once)
    • Lydia Herrle’s homecoming (~1 hour once)
    • Social events (~5 hours over two events)
    • Quiet time alone or with my wife (none of your damn business)

    Even with all of that, if you do the math (and trust me, I did the math) I end up with more than an average of 5 hours per day of available time. I wrote an average of 2 hours a day on weekdays and 4 hours a day on weekends and I still have a couple hours a day unaccounted for. Even if I low-balled the math on the above items that means I still had some free time.


    So there you have it. It is possible to do everything you want and still do a lot of things – and not be selfish about it (if you’re like me and my friend Tess you’re not shellfish about it either). The key is in managing your time. With a little forethought, discipline, and help from your friends… the world is your oyster (or non-oyster substitute for those with allergies).

    NaNoWriMovember: The Video!

    [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vZwBKg8_1g?rel=0]

    Take Off, Eh?

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    I have quite a few new writer friends on Twitter and Facebook and as we interacted over the past few days it became abundantly clear that, while I was no walking encyclopedia on American culture, that there were quite a few things that my friends south of the border were oblivious to when it came to my home and native land. So, on the day in which the CFL will award the 100th Grey Cup I present to you…

    Canadian Stuff! (Eh?)

    There are tons of better links for this stuff, but for simplicity I’m pointing to Wikipedia. I’ve skimmed each article at a minimum for authenticity and it’s all more or less right. We’re not handing this in to be marked so we’ll call it good enough.

    National Anthem,
    Canada’s national anthem is O Canada, from which I pilfered a line for my intro:

    O Canada!
    Our home and native land!
    True patriot love in all thy sons command.

    You can hear this anthem played most often at the Winter Olympics (the most gold medals won by any Winter Olympics host country ever) and before just about every sporting event played across the country. It’s also played every morning in schools and before other ceremonies and events.

    The Grey Cup
    This beauty is being handed out for the 100th time today and is the trophy awarded to the championship team of the Canadian Football League (CFL). Along with the Stanley Cup it is made of silver and has engravings of all the teams and player names to whom it has been awarded. At one time there were American teams in the CFL but this lasted only a few years. It was long enough for the Baltimore Stallions to become the only non-Canadian team to every win the trophy. Interestingly enough, the front page of Wikipedia has the Grey Cup as its featured article today.

    Wikipedia Main Page on November 25, 2012
    Provinces
    Canada is the 2nd largest country in the world as measured by area and is home to the longest shoreline of any country in the world, in addition to accounting for about 20% of the world’s fresh water. We do not have states, we have provinces and territories, all together 13 of them. Many are quite large (you can easily drive for more than 20 hours to get from southern Ontario to northern Ontario) and to say you’ve driven to all of the provinces is certainly quite an accomplishment. 
    Canada and Its Provinces & Territories
    Terry Fox
    Speaking of crossing our country, there was a young man named Terry Fox who lost his leg to cancer and decided that to raise awareness for the disease and raise money that he would run across the country – coast to coast. Just outside of Thunder Bay, Ontario, his run stopped and he succumbed to the disease shortly thereafter. He ran for a total of 143 days and covered 5,373 km (3,339 mi) and the year after his death in 1981 the Terry Fox Run started as an annual event in which children from schools all over the country (and now in 60 other countries) would run in his memory and raise funds to donate to cancer research. 
    If you have a few bucks and a few minutes Douglas Coupland wrote an absolutely wonderful coffee table book on Terry Fox. Buy it. Read it yourself then read it to your children. It’s an amazing story that everyone must know.
    Terry Fox

    Tuques
    These are knit or otherwise warm hats to wear on your head, mostly because from November to March many parts of Canada are freaking cold. In what has become an iconic image, Jose Theodore of the Montreal Canadiens donned a tuque during an outdoor NHL game.

    Hockey Player Wearing a Tuque During and Outdoor NHL Game

    Serviettes & Chesterfields & Verandas
    I just like to use these words to screw with my American friends. They are less common now and likely have  British etymology but you can still hear them when you’re out and about (oot and aboot) on the mean (i.e. cold) streets of Canada (for the record these things are napkins, couches, and porches).

    Serviette

    Poutine
    There’s not much to be said about poutine that hasn’t already been said. It’s a traditional Quebec fast food made with french fries and cheese curds and topped with brown gravy. It’s a heart attack on a plate and it’s freaking amazing.

    Poutine

    Hosers
    A “hoser” is a derogatory term coined by the comedy duo of Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas during their segment “Great White North” on SCTV. Another common stereotypical catch phrase they used was “Take off, eh?” Bob & Doug Mackenzie were the personas on the show and the two made a full length feature film in 1983 called Strange Brew. They have also recorded several songs, most notably “Take Off” featuring Geddy Lee of RUSH and “The 12 Days of Christmas“.

    [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJE3EgTGg9k?rel=0]

    So there you have it, some good old fashioned Canadiana to get you ready for the Grey Cup. For some more really interesting tidbits of information our good man Coupland did a couple coffee table books on the subject: Souviner of Canada and Souvineer of Canada 2.

    Oh, and speaking of tidbits, that reminds me of Timbits and our (unofficial) national coffee shop Tim Horton’s. You can find these scattered all across the country in more than locations than any other food services company, more than doubling McDonald’s. A coffee with two sugars and two cream is affectionately referred to as a “Double Double”.

    Tim Horton’s in Stratford, Ontario (home of Justin Bieber)

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to sit on my chesterfield eating poutine and drinking a double double, after which I will wipe my face with my serviette, sweep off my veranda (located in Ontario) while wearing a tuque and singing O Canada, before I watch the Grey Cup with a bunch of hosers I met during the Terry Fox Run, eh?

    Lydia’s Homecoming

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    On November 1st Lydia Herrle walked the 250 meters from her family market across the parking lot and up the lane way to her home. It had been almost 6 months since the day she was struck by a truck, knocked out of her shoes, and into a coma. Hundreds of people from the community here in Waterloo Region showed up to show their support, and triumphantly waved their worn and tattered green ribbons that they have been displaying on their cars, trees, sign posts, and mailboxes since the day after the accident.

    This outpouring of support and amazing display of community solidarity is a testament to the people that live and work in the region. Almost half a million people live within 20 minutes of the Herrle farm, yet in that moment it felt as though we were a small village, where every face is familiar and everyone comes to help when someone is in need.

    To have seen so many people of all backgrounds, occupations, and religions in one place showing their support and rejoicing Lydia’s amazing recovery, and in admiration of the strength of the Herrle family, was a sight that will forever be in my memory. I fought through the tears and managed to take some photographs of the event, though the images hardly do it justice.

    The Herrle family has been chronicling their journey here: http://prayforlydia2012.blogspot.ca Please take a few minutes to read their blog.

    Welcome home Lydia. Welcome home.

    ~
    Cars line Erb Street as hundreds of people converge on the Herrle farm to wave their green ribbons.

    Panoramic view of the parking lot and lane way, lined with people 3 or 4 deep on both sides.

    CTV News van setup in the parking lot. Excellent coverage by the local affiliate of this national network.

    The start of the line at the edge of the parking lot. By the time Lydia came out to see us it had grown by 40 or 50 feet.

    Another shot of the lined lane way from the other side of the field.

    People patiently wait in the rain on the muddy lane way of the Herrle farm.

    A young girl makes her way across the parking lot of the Herrle farm, green ribbon in tow.

    Lydia makes her appearance!

    The Lydiamobile followed her throughout the 250 meter journey. She did not need to sit down for the entire walk.

    Lydia waves to all the people lined up and cheering.

    Lydia spots a friend from school, her smile widening and her eyes brightening. The two friends embrace, emotion overcoming Lydia’s friend as they hug.

    An Untitled Post About Bullying

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    With bullying front and center in the news after Amanda Todd’s tragic suicide I found myself reflecting on my personal experiences on the subject. I certainly wasn’t the victim of persistent bullying, but there are a few incidents that have stuck in my mind:

    • In grade 4 an older kid (a grade 5) kicked my lunch box down the street. My dad took me over to his house and had a chat with his father and he apologized. I’m now friends with him on Facebook and he’s since apologized for real.
    • In grade 8, I had a disagreement with a girl in my class and she got excessively angry with me and starting slapping me and punching me and what-have-you. Having been raised to never, under any circumstances, ever hit a girl, I just took it. Later that afternoon my teacher made a snide remark about me getting beat up by a girl in front of the whole class. To this day I don’t know if I said it or if it was something I thought I ought to have said, but the phrase “What would you have done if had I hit her back?” keeps popping into my head. The girl and I became friends days later and today we chat occasionally on Facebook.
    • In grade 9 the older brother of a girl in my grade (and who was on my paper route) shoved me in a locker. Well, he tried. I pulled the old cat trying to avoid a bath trick and never made it in. That didn’t stop word from spreading that I actually had been shoved in though. Who were people going to believe, a grade 9 geek or a grade 12 punk? Facebook status for her: not friends but would friend. As for her brother, we’re not Facebook friends now and not ever likely to be.
    • One of my friends in high school dated a bully for a couple years. He liked to assert his masculinity by pushing me around and threatening me. I suspect it was because he was insecure in his relationship, and as a person in general. I’m still friends with the girl (yes, on Facebook too). I don’t care to ever be Facebook friends with the guy.

    And then there was the time I was walking into a hockey rink and was punched by someone for allegedly “smiling at him”. Turns out a local gang was hanging out there and were looking for trouble. Before I knew it a pack of them had shoved me into an empty change room and were laying the boots to me. Boots and fists… and elbows… and knees, though I remember only one knee – the one that, as my head was being pushed down, came up and caught me right in the face. After that, it was all a blur of Doc Martin’s and Air Jordan’s and the taste of blood. They say you can’t actually remember the feeling of pain, but I sure remember what I was feeling.

    Despite the arena manager and first responding officer telling me that I shouldn’t pursue action for fear of retribution, I pursued action. They caught 3 of the guys and two plead out and got something like 6 months probation. The “ring leader” got 2 years probation and a whole lot of other conditions like curfew and restraining order limiting his distance from me and so forth. After what I went through, let’s just say I wasn’t the biggest fan of the Young Offenders Act.

    Today, even as I typed that last paragraph, my teeth clenched and I felt panic in my chest – and this all happened over 20 years ago.

    Twenty years is a long time to be carrying around that memory, but it’s impossible to forget. Trust me, I’ve tried, but then something happens and I hear about it in the news and there it is again. Sometimes, and this is one that I’m having a hard time explaining, sometimes the reminder comes in a much less subtle way and hits me like a knee to the face.

    Yesterday I found myself in Toronto helping out an old high school acquaintance by doing a bit of work as an unpaid extra in a music video he’s producing. A couple other guys from the old neighborhood were there too:

    1. The step son of my grade 8 teacher.
    2. A guy who was there that night I was attacked.

    The step son of my grade 8 teacher is a year older than me but we went to the same high school and know a lot of the same people. It was nice talking to him and he and I actually made quite an impression on the crew during the shoot. We’re friends on Facebook now.

    The other guy, I had been talking to him for a couple hours as we waited for our scene to come up and when talk turned to other people from the neighborhood I mentioned the names of the “ring leader” and two other guys – only I got the name wrong. He looked at me and confessed that he was there that night and knew those involved.
    I have picked through my thesaurus and still can’t come up with a single word that adequately describes what I was feeling.
    Today he’s an everyday guy living a life anyone of us could have had. He went to shoot his scene and I never really saw him after that. The producer posted a pic on Facebook and he “liked” it. I’m currently undecided if I would accept his friend request should he ever send me one, though I’m leaning towards no.
    The stylist overheard some of the conversation at one point as the other guy and I were talking with the producer and she asked me how I felt, what I was thinking… I’ll be honest with you, I am not at all proud about what I said and even less proud about what I thought. The rest of the day, the drive home, most of last night, many hours in bed, and a good part of today I have been trying to reconcile my feelings on all this. Thankfully, I think I have.
    You see, I am a firm believer that the world would be a better place if more people were happy. I genuinely want the people around me, in my community, to be happy. On a very basic level, it would make the simple act of leaving the house that much more enjoyable. As such, I have put myself on a path that includes finding ways to be happy, and have those around me be happy as well. In collaboration with, and never at the expense of others.
    For 20 years I have felt that my attackers took something from me, and that they should pay. For as long as I felt pain, they should feel misery, hurt, and despair 100 times over. This is just a taste of some of the thoughts that have gone through my head as recently as this morning, and I’m ashamed for having them. Just sticking to the path I have chosen should be enough.
    It is enough.
    If the people that kicked the crap out of me for no reason have put themselves on a similar path then I am pleased. If they haven’t, well then they’re going to reap what they sow eventually. The Universe has a way of balancing itself out, and karma has a way of kicking your ass worse than any human ever could.
    Today I have two hopes and one wish.
    My first hope is that a kid being bullied reads this and talks to someone about what they’re going through, and talks to as many people as they have to until someone listens. My second hope is that they won’t have to talk to more than one. I was 0 for 2 on help that night, but the next person listened, and so did the person after that, and the person after that.
     
    You are not alone.
    My wish is that at least one bully reads this and decides to choose a different path. The world can always use one more happy person and if they choose the right path the world will get at least two.