I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the best driver in the world: I rarely check my blind spot, I travel at high rates of speed, I enjoy breaking quickly, I can’t park to save my life and I am the poster-boy for road rage.

That being said I am still less of a threat on the road, and even a better driver, than way too many people out there with licenses.

There’s the people who drive too slowly. Not the speed limit, but SLOWER. If it’s a clear day and the roads are dry and you’re on a highway you’d best be going within 5 of the speed limit. They say it can happen, but just once I’d actually like to see someone getting a ticket for going to slow.

Then there’s the idiots who chuck cigarette butts out their window. This really has nothing to do with their driving ability, but it really annoys me.  Today someone cut me off and stopped short and tossed a butt out the window and it landed on my hood.  Sigh.

Let’s not forget about the two lane highways occupied by two different cars both going the same speed. I’m not sure if the car in the fast lane just enjoys being an asshole or what, but these people should have a Volvo rammed where the sun don’t shine. 

Lastly, there’s the ever popular super-conscientious citizens. The people whose sole job on the road is for them to make sure you drive below the speed limit and come to a full stop at all the appropriate places. The purposefully drive so you can’t pass them, they take EXTRA long at stops, they NEVER try to make the amber light, and don’t even think about making the left as the light goes red. Nope, these people want to make sure that you follow all the rules, all the while you’re just thinking of ways to run them off the road without them actually getting killed.

If I wasn’t such a lazy ass, I’d walk.