Losing Vern

Birthdays have been tough since 2009 as it seems every one is a reminder of losing Ryan. Truth be told, very few days go by where one of us doesn’t remember him in some way, so it’s not so much the actual day as it is just one more reminder. I take solace in the fact that there were so many wonderful things to remember. 

So, another year passes. Loss helps me keep perspective: as long as I keep having birthdays things can’t be all that bad. As the saying goes – every day on this side of the grass is a good one! Thank you, Ryan, for showing so many of us how to appreciate living, how to love with all our hearts, and how to laugh as often as possible (especially at ourselves).

2 thoughts on “Losing Vern

  1. Anonymous

    Being an all-or-nothing person my whole life, I moved 500 miles away from home and married at age 19…just when my sister and I FINALLY started to get along. (We were three years apart and fought like lions over the last gazelle on the prairie.)Newly married without a clue how to live life on my own, I ran home to mama and stayed a week. Michelle and I acted like loving sisters for the first time ever. Looking back now, it's my proudest moment. I went home with a new sense of self, someone in my corner was all I needed, apparently. For two years we wrote long letters, recalling hilarious things we'd done, mistakes we'd made, opportunities we'd missed. We called one another. We missed each other. We grew close.The day I called my family to tell them I was 5 weeks pregnant with the first grandchild of the family, she had to work late and wasn't there. The next morning, her car was sideswiped when she hydroplaned and veered into oncoming traffic. She died instantly. I lost my sister I'd just started to know. She was 24. Not a day goes by when I don't wonder what she'd say about my two boys, my writing career (which I dedicate to her), or my nieces and nephews. She's missed so much. Yet it pales in comparison to what I missed having her here.She taught me to live in the here and now. So when I walk up to someone, hug them tight, look them in the eye and tell them I love them, I think of her instead of the names I'll be called by said hugged person. Lol. Live Passionately or Go Home. <–My motto.

  2. Andrew F. Butters

    I'm so sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing that, Valerie. Losing someone so close at such a young age is way more difficult that I could have ever imagined. We get through it by remembering all the good they brought into our lives.


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