Tag Archives: Blog

Painting Pictures With Words

This is a new thing for me. What I mean when I say a “new thing” is writing a blog post without using any inline images. Normally, I will break up a post here and there with either an image or a video or possibly some text formatting in order to give the piece a bit of shape.

Not today.

I’m taking a bit of risk with this. I get some fairly decent traffic, but it’s still not enough to make a living on, so the desire for me to pretty this up with flashy images is high. I’m a writer, though, and pictures, for the most part, are not part of my standard operating procedures.

There’s the old adage, “A picture is worth a thousand words,” and it’s true. In fact, in 2011 I started a project where I would post a picture and people would submit a 100-word paragraph to me about it and I would stitch ten of them together to make a thousand-word essay about it. It was a cool exercise and it helped me get a sense of what words come to people’s minds when they see an image. I found this quite relevant seeing that, as a writer, I’m responsible for performing that same act—only in reverse.

It’s not an easy task.

Certainly, there are other ways to consume the written word besides reading them. There are many folks who enjoy audiobooks, many more still who listen to podcasts (which are just people speaking words), and there are even those who use braille, which for me represents the holy grail of users who provide feedback. You see, the world is dominated by the sighted. Just about every interaction we have involves a visual component. We even use phrases like, “See it in your mind.” Well, what about those who have never seen anything? How would my work resonate with them? Would it resonate at all?

I don’t have any of my work translated into braille (that I am aware of) but I would like to see how that works out one of these days. For now, I’ve decided that a decent half-measure would be to write a post and keep it as simple as I can. Words and characters as they would appear in a novel, with paragraph breaks and sentence length—and strategically placed em dashes—my only tools for altering the visual structure of the piece.

How’m I doing?

A common problem with many writers both new and old… er… experienced, is purple prose. It’s also often referred to as “flowery”. When trying to paint a picture for the reader it’s easy to slip into the habit of tossing in descriptor after descriptor like rice at a wedding (or rice and toast when seeing a performance of the Rocky Horror Picture Show).

“The woman glided across the sparkling marble floor, silently, on shimmering blue satin slippers as the brilliant midday sun shone through the only stain glass window in an otherwise gilded ceiling, which reflected the sunlight and sent it dancing throughout the room.”

That might not be the best example, but you get the idea. When you try to dress up your text with a few fancy words, more than a few commas and end up telling the reader more things than you’re showing them then you’ve got an issue. It’s a constant struggle and when I am writing a novel it’s always at the forefront of my mind. If I were to re-write that previous paragraph I’d go with something like this:

“The woman’s slight frame combined with her satin slippers on the marble floor allowed her to move without sound. The midday sun shone through the stained glass window in the ceiling and it warmed her face. There were few shadows but that didn’t mean there weren’t places to hide. She tilted her head using small movements to improve her chances of picking up the sound of anyone lurking unseen in the nooks and crannies of the vast cathedral.”

I think that’s much better. Certainly not award-winning narrative, but you can see the difference, yes? In the second paragraph, we’ve learned much more about the character and the story than in the first one. She’s moving without sound on purpose. We know she’s in a church. We know it’s a bright, sunny day. I don’t know about you but I want to know more. Why is she walking quietly in a seemingly empty cathedral, but concerned that it isn’t empty, in the middle of the day? There’s more to this story and hopefully, it’s written in such a way that the reader will want to find out more.

Question:
If they each were the opening paragraph of a book, which one would you be more likely to continue to read? (And no, there isn’t a third choice of “neither”).

The job I’ve committed to is putting together collections of words that don’t paint a picture for the reader but help them paint the picture with me as we move through the piece together. If I feed them too much description then I’m stifling their imagination. I give this advice to other writers about writing sex into non-romance books: Less is more. If you give someone enough to get the idea of what’s happening their mind will fill in the blanks better than any of your words will be able to. But, sex sells, right? Sure it does, but that doesn’t mean you need to spill all the dirty details in order for it to be effective. It doesn’t take much to go from engaging to gratuitous and when that happens you risk losing your reader.

So, it’s a delicate balance that the writer must strike when they sit down at the keyboard and start their journey. I have got to tell you, though, when it works, when you get in that zone and you can close your eyes and let the visions in your head flow through your hands onto the page, there are precious few feelings as good. It’s in those moments you’re most likely to have painted a picture with your words and brought something into the world, not just for people to read, but for people to experience.


Links:

Crushing Dreams of Candy

Oh Internet, you’ve been providing us with ridiculousness for quite some time. I remember back when it was a really big deal to check on the hockey scores without having to wait for the top of the hour on the radio or the highlights on TV. We have apps for that now (thank goodness).

I remember back when, if you had to research something, you had to get up off your butt and go all the way to the library to look it up and then come all the way back home (uphill, again!) to type it up. How the local transit system and Liquid Paper are still in use is beyond me. Keep citing your sources though, and make sure they’re not all Wikipedia.

I remember when you were out at the bar and an argument broke out the result was often hours of yelling and debate sometimes followed by someone getting punched in the face. Those arguments seem to have tapered off with cries of “TO THE INTERNETS!” replacing violence. I think face punching still occurs, but it’s probably for old fashioned violations like hitting on someone’s girl or getting mind blowingly wasted.

Finally, I remember when the Internet was pure, and innocent, and wasn’t the easiest way for money sucking lawyers to bulk up on billable hours. Yesterday’s ambulance chasers are today’s trademark miners – and the Internet is the reason it’s so much easier than hopping in your car and hanging out near the busiest intersection in town waiting for the latest saga about the car that gets crushed in front of the candy store.

See what I did there?

Yes? Very good! Please keep reading.
No? It’s okay, it was subtle. Please keep reading.

As a content provider I am more in tune with copyright and intellectual property than I every thought I would be. Honestly, had I known I would be a photographer, blogger, and writer back in my youth I probably would not have spent so much time staring at my classmates test papers and assignments. In spite of those transgressions I do have a healthy respect for the creators of content and for the most part it’s a black-and-white discussion. I also understand that in some cases there are at least fifty shades of grey.

I’d like to think that the insanity started with Facebook and it’s ultimate desire to own every piece of information on the Internet. The day they filed for a trademark on the word “like” was a dark day for the Internet and a field day for lawyers. I’m sure other companies have marked singular, common words found in dictionaries everywhere but Facebook went the extra mile and added “face” and “book” to the list as well.

You know, I get it. I really do. Facebook doesn’t want people taking advantage of their popularity or sullying the brand, but to what extent do they have to go to ensure this doesn’t happen?

The answer to that apparently lies with the company King.com Limited, who on February 6, 2013 filed a trademark application for the word “candy”. Special thanks to the CBC for bringing this to our attention and digging up the application status (that would have been a chore for a person much more patient than me). In case you didn’t know, King.com makes the wildly popular app “Candy Crush Saga”.

If you read the filing you’ll see a laundry list of goods and services to which the trademark applies. To say that King.com Limited has cast a wide net would be the understatement of the year.

Some highlights:

  • “Calculating machines, Data processing equipment, namely, couplers”
  • “Microphones; Baby monitors; Battery performance monitors”
  • “Clothing… tights, trousers, under garments, underpants, underwear…”

And my personal favourite:

  • “Non-downloadable electronic publications in the nature of websites, e-books, online magazines, online newspapers, electronic journals, blogs, podcasts and mobile applications in the field of computer and video games” [emphasis mine]

What I can’t figure out is whether or not the bit “in the field of computer and video games” only applies to podcasts and mobile applications or if it applies to everything in that sentence. I suppose one way to find out is to just leave this post up and wait for my cease and desist letter to arrive in the mail. 

The good news is that while the application was approved on January 22 competitors still have until February 25 to oppose the trademark. Here’s hoping someone tips off the members of the 60’s band The Strangeloves before things get out of hand.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiiD8KeAFew]

~ Andrew

Year In Review / Best Of

As is customary at this time of year a blog post cop out is in order. Rather than come up with something engaging, intelligent, or funny to ramble on about I’m going to do a “Best of” and a personal year in review. I’ll do the “Best Of” portion first because most people will probably enjoy that more, although the year in review piece may be interesting to a few people as well. I’ll let you decide.

Best Of Potato Chip Math 2013!


Most viewed posts:
  1. Size Matters“, August 25
    • This surprise hit of the year was successful for a few reasons. First, it had a very searchable title [smile, wink], secondly it was on a topic that every writer/blogger struggles with at some point (“How many words do I need?”). Lastly, someone else posted this on Reddit in the /r/books subreddit and people clicked the living hell out of it. It’s now my most viewed post of all time.
  2. Raiders of the Lost Art“, September 29
    • This post on the decline of handwriting and how I could care less seemed to resonate with a lot of people. For some reason there are those who still think it should be taught in schools – in English class (I say leave it for art class and teach more useful skills in English).
  3. Your Comment is Awaiting Moderation“, September 1
    • Another successful post mostly because it’s a topic that just about every blogger has had to make a decision on at some point (“Do I moderate the comments on my blog?”). If you’ve read my blog before then you know that I do not, however, please be respectful.

Most commented on post:
  • One of These Facts is Actually a Lie“, March 17
    • The easiest way to get people to comment on your blog is to hold a contest in which the winner must comment on the post to win. The actual contest was secondary to the fun guessing game I put together in order to share a bit more information with my readers.
  • Honourable Mention to “Your Comment is Awaiting Moderation“, September 1
    • Worth noting as it was a non-contest post AND it was about blog comments!

Longest posts:

Shortest posts:
I can only find one trend between the length of my posts and the number of views each receives. My average post was 741 words (including this one) with the median value being 728 (same number of posts with fewer words as there are more words). If I look at the view rank of the posts for above and below the average and median it’s about the same BUT if I look at raw number of views for each half then what I find is the posts below the average and median receive about 35% fewer views. Moral of the story: I will keep my posts around 750 words for better viewing (not sure how a 2,000 word post will do and I’m not sure I want to try).

Least viewed posts:

Reading these back at least two of those thee posts suck outright, with the remaining one in the “not very good” category. That’s okay though, they can’t all be gold. Every artist needs a Gigli on their resume 😉


      My favourite post:
      • Equality Means Equal“, June 29, 10th most viewed post in 2013
        • I like this post because it speaks directly to how I feel about the issue of equal rights for all humans. Equality is an absolute. There is no room for interpretation. Get on board with it.


        WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE POST?

        • Post a link to the title and date of publication in the comments, along with why it was your favourite!

        Now for the Year in Review portion of the show. Back in January I set some pretty ambitious targets. Not necessarily resolutions, but sort of. Here they are along with how I think I did:

        • When one of my kids is nearby I will put my laptop or phone aside, and even if they are not desiring my attention, I will give it to them
          • I did not too badly with this one. The biggest problem is that my kids are growing up and don’t need or want as much attention from me or my wife any more!


        • When asked to do something by my wife, I will do it right then or I will set a reminder in my phone if it needs to be done later
          • Phone reminders help. I think I passed this one more often than I failed, but I’ll leave it to her to decide 🙂


        • I will get out and see my friends. This means one event every now and then as well as coffee or tea with individuals at lunch or whenever our schedules align. This also includes golf 🙂
          • I had tea/coffee/lunch with several friends on several occasions and golfed with several people I hadn’t golfed with previously. Big win on this front, even though it could still be more. I did start volunteering with Ignite Waterloo and that has opened up a whole new list of possibilities.


        • I will buy some local art
          • I totally did. A Jennifer Gough painting now hangs in my living room!

        • I will read more books written by people I know and I will give them honest and constructive feedback. I would be forever grateful if they would do the same for me
          • I did this but could also do more. I read every story in the anthology I was published in plus read books by Tess Thompson, Gordon Bonnet, Robert Chazz Chute. I need to do reviews for a couple of these still, but I will!

        I also had a few very specific writing goals to accomplish. They were stretch goals at the absolute best but I managed to knock off a few. My successes: 


        • Finished the first draft of novel #1 
        • Won NaNoWriMo (for the second year in a row)
        • Started a screenplay
        • Wrote 1 blog post every week for the entire year (plus a bonus post in memory of Ryan)

        That last one was absolutely instrumental in the success of my blog. For most of the year my traffic practically doubled, with an almost 400% increase for a few months near the end of the year as some writing-specific and NaNoWriMo posts got some good Reddit traction. 
        So what’s in store for next year? Well for starters there will be a cop out start of year post but there will also be a few tips in there about a few things I’ve learned. Plus, I think I’m going to do a new weekly feature in addition to a weekly post. I’m still sorting out the details and I might do it in conjunction with another writer/blogger but stay tuned!
        That’s it for me in 2013. Thanks to each and every one of you for reading and I wish you all a healthy and successful 2014.
        ~ Andrew

        Your Comment Is Awaiting Moderation

        Pre-moderating: sensible thing to do or petty censorship?

        When it comes to pre-moderating comments on blogs I have to say that I’m a little bit baffled. If you’re a site for children I totally get it; and the same for a news or media outlet, but if you’re just one of a boat load of blogs out there, from the big name to the small time, what’s the rationale for pre-moderating comments?

        News sites tend to moderate the hell out of their comments. Given that they are in the business of spreading news to hundreds of millions of people it behooves them to keep a tight reign on the content below their headers. The last thing they need is for some wingnut to fly off the handle in front of an audience the size of most nations.

        For most things corporate I understand as well, though I do find it refreshing when the big players don’t turn every web page like a giant legal cover-your-ass exercise. The Google Blog doesn’t moderate their comments – at least it doesn’t pre-moderate them (it’s possible they just delete anything that doesn’t meet their standards for submission after it’s posted). While Google isn’t exactly a small time company they’re also well known for being a little more relaxed about things so I’m taking the absence of pre-moderation of comments for what it’s worth.

        [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8gCV0KYdJc?rel=0]

        As for my little corner of the blogosphere I just can’t wrap my head around the idea that a comment would need my approval before I allowed it on my site. It smells a little bit like censorship, don’t you think? Besides, who the hell am I to say what people can and cannot say about something I fully intended the entire Internet to read (or at least a few hundred people)?

        Back in 2005 I had a different blog and one particular asshole starting commenting and causing a ruckus. For a time I just didn’t allow comments in hopes he would find someone else to hassle but realizing that it wasn’t fair to other readers who did want to comment I turned them back on. It was at this point that I tinkered with the idea of moderating the comments. In the end I chose not to, but had my finger on the “report” button just in case he got out of hand. He never did. Contrary to some beliefs, there are a lot of problems that will just go away if you ignore them.

        A brief poll to a few friends who blog and a little bit of research on the web dug up the following nuggets of extrememly precise data:

        • A large number do not moderate their comments
        • Many only moderate for spam
        • Some use a form of word verification
        It would seem that for those who moderate spam is the biggest concern. No one wants a slew of ads and unrelated links clogging up their comments section and this is where I think the word verification comes in. That was one thing I ended up implementing myself, and as far as a security feature goes; forcing a person to enter in a couple words just so you know they’re not a robot isn’t much, but it does keeps the spam down and in my case also allows anonymous comments (while I prefer people stand in front of their comments by putting their name on them, I can understand that some people may have concerns over privacy and things like that).

        There’s lots of comment plug-ins for the popular platforms like Blogger and WordPress and both have at least a couple variations on moderation. Another one is Disqus, which I used for a while but abandoned for reasons I don’t remember.

        But to the question at hand, is it just best practice or are we making it out to be worse than it is? As far as my blog goes, I’ve decided that until I actually have a problem I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing. I like to think of it as giving the public an opportunity to disappoint.

        So far, they have not (except this person).

        ~ Andrew


        For those interested, here’s a sampling of a few news sites and their moderation policies:

        NY Times
        Click this sentence for just the policy text

        CBC
        Click this sentence for just the policy text

        Huffington Post

        Brokeback Blogging

        Are you obsessed with “analytics”? I am. I was under the impression a lot of people were but I’m not so sure why I would think that. Certainly if you’re selling something I would hope you’re trying to figure out who’s buying, who’s looking, and all the trends that come along with the buyers and the lookers. Sales: now that’s something people love to track.

        Me, I’m not selling anything – yet – but I’m positively hooked on knowing more about the people reading my blog. Are you a first time visitor or returning? Do I have a clue what it means when the ratio is skewed one way versus the other?

        I’m also really interested in where people are reading my blog. I have had one person from Estonia spend a few minutes perusing, so that was exciting. I’ve had every province in Canada visit, but none of the arctic territories. What about the U.S., you ask? Well I’ve had people from 49 out of the 50 states stop by, which I think is pretty cool. The only one missing? Wyoming. 

        What the heck is up with Wyoming? 
        It’s been driving me crazy for a while now and I’m beginning to think I’m going about it all wrong. I need to blog about something that Wyomingites want to read, not stuff about the state itself, or just mentioning Wyoming. Right? Wyoming Wyoming Wyoming. What the heck do people in Wyoming want to read anyway? It’s clear I don’t have the foggiest idea.

        In looking at that picture above it’s obvious that I have fans in New York, Texas, and California. With some other interested folks in Indiana and Georgia. That’s a good sign and there’s a bit more coverage up into Kansas and Kentucky than I’d expect but hey, I’m not complaining.

        For some reason I even care about what browser people are using. I’m not sure if this is because Google has it as a criteria or if I’m trying to somehow justify my own personal choice of browser (it’s probably a little bit of both). Incidentally, #1 on the list has more visits than the next three combined.

        Does it matter? Am I too obsessed? Am I not obsessed enough? Should I obsess about different things? What does it all mean?!?

        Maybe I should just write and not worry about it – until I have a book to sell 😉

        ~ Andrew

        P.S. Wyoming 

        One Hundred

        For my 100th published post here on Potato Chip Math I thought I would delve into the history of my little corner of the blogosphere and speak to why I think it has seen so much success over the past six months.

        I had blogged before, way back in the blogging heyday of 2005, but after a few years away I was getting the urge to start putting words out in the universe again. I was finally starting that screenplay I had been meaning to write for the last half decade and life was slipping into a nice little routine. Then, on March 24, 2010 I made a trip to the grocery store to pick up some snacks and uncovered a bit of math involving potato chips that got me thinking, I could blog about this. So I did.

        Thanks to Tatiana Hedley
        for the perfect pic

        Then, a funny thing happened on the way to the forum. What started as a random collection of posts, rants, and quirky facts about me started to evolve. In November 2011 I had a revelation after seeing Kevin Smith perform in Kitchener and a few months after that Kevin re-tweeted a link to something I had done. Within  half an hour my blog had more hits on a single day than my total for the previous year. Interesting.

        Kev mentions me on Twitter and all hell breaks loose
        on my blog (for about half an hour)

        I managed to sustain a decent level of interest over the next while by putting a few things out there related to social media, specifically Twitter. Then, in July of 2011 I suffered a concussion. In an effort to work my way through this I started a little thing called 1000 Word Picture and thanks to a few writer friends and a link someone posted to Reddit I was reaching record highs.

        Posting a couple times a month on a variety of topics my readership stayed fairly steady and predictable over the next 18 months. I was getting some spikes in traffic when I would comment on other people’s blogs or if I posted something that struck a chord with a lot of people. Then, something happened that would change my outlook and the focus of this blog forever (or at least for the foreseeable future): I won NaNoWriMo.

        50,000 words in 30 days
        (it’s a lot harder than it sounds)

        This was such an amazing experience, not just for my writing, but also in terms of my interactions and relationships with other writers, that I decided I would use this blog for something a little more productive. I would maintain a consistent schedule of posts (something which I had difficulty with in the past) and focus my topics on my experiences and observations as an up-and-coming writer.

        Then another funny thing happened on the way to the forum. My blog traffic almost doubled. Pardon? What could I have done to deserve this? Short of over analyzing this I think I can sum it up with one word:

        Consistency.

        We are barely into June and I’ve already posted more than all of last year. Hell, if I extend that into November of last year we have the fact that in the last six months I have posted 27 times. In the six months prior to that I only posted 11 times and during the same period a year ago only 10 times. That means that in the last six months I’ve posted more than the previous twelve months combined.

        Bar Graph!

        Probably the most startling statistic is that my monthly readership has increased dramatically. Now, I have been more active in reading other blogs and commenting – which goes a long way towards driving traffic to this site, but the fact remains that once I started delivering a more consistent message on a consistent schedule I started to engage with more readers. Monthly readership of Potato Chip Math has increased 40% over the last six months and more than 50% over the same time period a year ago!

        Line Graph!

        So there you have it. A look back at the last 99 posts and how a little blog that started about some stupid potato chips became a little bit more. If I am in any position to offer advice I will leave you with the following. Greater blog success can be achieved many ways. Content is key, but so is consistency.

        • Consistent messaging
        • Consistent theme
        • Consistent timing
        • Consistent phrasing

        And if you talk to my editor for the Orange Karen short story I wrote, the most important…

        • Consistent verb tenses!

        As always, thank you for being here and having read this 😉

        ~ Andrew