Tag Archives: Writers

Peeing Into The Digital Wind

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I’m beginning to think that the internet, especially the social media aspect of it, is probably the most intricate and fascinating social experiment in the history of the world. There’s an old saying that goes, “Opinions are like assholes. Everybody’s got one and everyone thinks everyone else’s stinks.” This is what the internet has become. Hundreds of millions of people with their own special opinion on EVERYTHING and a whole bunch of them chomping at the bit to point out what’s wrong with everyone else’s, especially yours.

I get it. I really do. It’s so hard to resist. You know you’re right. You are right! You must let all the people know you’re right. I’ve been there a thousand times. Hell, I’ve been there as recently as this weekend. Try as I might, I would not bite my tongue and had to chime in on something that, had I left well enough alone, would have left me in a perfectly calm state. As it was, I was left frustrated and disappointed and all I accomplished was completely wasting half an hour of an otherwise wonderful day.

http://www.reactiongifs.com/

That’s all fine and dandy when it’s average folk arguing with each other over average things. What really makes my head turn is when there’s a company + customer dust up. When I see this happen the first thing I try to do is determine which party is batshit crazy, then I typically root for the other one. If both parties involved are off their rockers then that’s even better. Without a horse in the race, I can just sit back and enjoy the show.

I am left wondering what the ever loving hell is there to be gained – on either side – by engaging in these shenanigans? In many cases, it’s the company that ends up looking the fool. The old adage, “The customer is always right,” seems to ring true, at least in the court of public opinion (even though it’s really bullshit). Occasionally, though, a company will come out on top and boy-oh-boy is that fun to watch. There is something thoroughly satisfying about watching an internet asshat get their just desserts.

For an example of this, we need to look no further than The White Moose Café in Ireland. Café owner/manager, Paul Stenson, took exception one day to some vegans who frequented his café and slagged him in a review. For the record, Paul had no problem with vegans frequenting his restaurant but expected a little heads up beforehand. Instead, their expectation was that he would be able to cater to their very specific dietary needs on a whim. What Paul did next was nothing short of genius.

He fought back and he fought back hard.

Have you ever heard of the joke “The Aristocrats”? It’s a go-to amongst comedians, often told in the company of other comedians. The whole point of it is to take it as far as you can in terms of obscenity and offensiveness. Gilbert Gottfried is renowned for using this joke to turn around a crowd of comedians that were gathered for a roast of Hugh Hefner shortly after 9/11. Gilbert told an offside joke that could be easily categorized as being “too soon”. He got boos. He got heads shaking. He got finger wags of shame. Then he busted into The Aristocrats. By the time he was done all was (mostly) right with the room again. More people were laughing compared to the moments before he took the mic so it’s safe to say he pulled off one of the greatest comedic recoveries ever.

Well, our friend Paul, the owner/manager of The White Moose Café in Ireland, after getting his crappy review from the angry vegans, he launched into his very own rendition of The Aristocrats. He went full-blown five-alarm batshit crazy with his responses at one point [sarcastically] posting, “Any vegans attempting to enter our café will be shot dead at point blank range.” Buzzfeed chronicles the whole sordid affair and it is pure gold.

The end result? The White Moose Café is now one the busiest establishments in Ireland, likely giving the Blarney Stone a run for its money. If I ever go to Ireland I’m stopping by to give Paul some business. I just hope I can get a table and don’t have to step over too many dead vegans while standing in line.

Used with permission from The White Moose Café

On the other side of the coin, we have M. R. (Michael Robb) Mathias and the website Fantasy Faction. It should be a really simple relationship. The writer writes and publishes (in this case self-publishes) and the readers read, review, and discuss the writer’s work (utilizing the comments section on sites like Amazon and Barnes & Noble as well as the handy dandy Fantasy Faction forum).

Now, I once had the good fortune of meeting Chuck Wendig at a writer’s workshop and the writer/reader relationship was briefly discussed. In a nutshell, once that book leaves the writer’s hands, it’s no longer about them. Reviews are for readers, not writers. At no point should a writer inject themselves into a conversation about their work – at least not in a public forum like a review site or forum and certainly not unless they were invited. Full stop.

It would appear that Michael wasn’t in attendance that day because he took his own “Aristocrats” approach and it failed miserably. Michael posts some self-promoting thing to a forum. Forum moderators move it to the self-published and small press section. Michael takes exception to this and, in the public forum, unleashes an egotistic rant that will go down in infamy as “Mathias’s Meltdown”.

You can read a summary of the meltdown here, or you can take a gander at the original forum discussion or peruse what twitter was saying in real time. I have read them all end-to-end and all I can say is, wow! Of course, to a certain extent “any press is good press” applies here (I’m sure he got a few sales out of the whole exchange) but when forum posters (not just the mods) are calling you out for being a twatwaffle, the right play here is not to double down on being a twatwaffle. There were at least half a dozen ways Michael could have navigated those waters and not drowned. As it is, he has the distinction of out batshit crazying Anne Rice.

Image released to the public domain by Anne Rice

All things considered, if Google search results are any indication and you have an online presence as a company (or brand or content creator etc…) you are more than likely going to end up like M.R. Mathias and not Paul Stenson from the White Moose Café.

In summary, be careful out there. Online engagements are a lot like peeing into the wind. It may provide you with some measure of relief but all you really do is end up smelling foul and having to explain to everyone why you’re such an idiot.

~ Andrew

Rockin’ Robin (Tweet, Tweet)

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I sometimes have a hard time titling my posts. Today’s was easy because I’m taking you back to the world of Twitter, and pretty much anyone in the Eastern part of North America is wishing for Spring. Hell, we’re practically begging for it. That first robin sighting will be a monumental event, and what do robins do? They tweet. At least the rockin’ ones do if you believe the Jackson 5.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4VCUbL7jsc?rel=0]

Okay, that’s enough of an explanation as to how I got the title for the post. Now on to the content!

Way back in May/June of 2011 I wrote a series of posts centred around social media – specifically Twitter. I had been on Twitter for a few years by then and still hand’t quite figured it out.

In all of this, however, I neglected to get to the actual key to Twitter effectiveness. Engagement. Now, in my defence, I was new. I was still amassing followers and followings. It wasn’t until I was following close to 500 people that I began to realize that the Twitter sea could be a cold and lonely (and useless) place unless you had some sort of system. So, I started using lists.

I had thirteen lists then. Today I have seven (including a mysterious “People Not in a List” list). A couple of familiar lists are still kicking around: “Writing” and “Community”, and yesterday I made a few observations:

So, I’ve covered how I got the title of this post, and now I’ve explained how I came to arrive at this topic for this week. I suppose the only thing that’s left is to get to the point.

The first observation was interesting because I don’t tend to pay attention to who’s following me (which is a partial lie because when I made this writer following-to-followed comment a couple years ago Margaret Atwood started following me on Twitter and to this day it makes me absolutely giddy). I find it interesting because I find writers are great at reciprocating the Twitter follow, more so than any other group of people, I think.

I started thinking about why that would be when I came across my second observation: self promotion. Look, I get it. We’re all trying to sell stuff, and with the state of publishing and self publishing being what it is competition is at an all-time high and royalties are at an all-time low. The problem I see with this is that it’s an awful lot of noise.

I don’t know about most people but I follow an awful lot of writers, most of them not well known, so I’m not sure the average Twitter user has the same view of things. One thing I do know though is that I’m way more likely to re-tweet or comment (engage!) when someone’s stream isn’t just a a constant flow of “Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!” Naturally, unless Tweeting is your full time job you can’t respond to everyone all the time – that’s just not a sustainable practice. You can, however, take a good look at who you’re following and what those people have to say and find out where you can add value to that conversation.

Hey, I’ve certainly been guilty of shameless self promotion on Twitter. If you were to check out my feed from the last year and a half you’ll see mostly links to photographs I took or blog posts and very little “other” stuff. It sucks, and I’m not proud of it. Which was my third observation, and the reason for this post. Now that my life is settling back into somewhat of a normal routine, I started thinking about how I wanted to start engaging more on Twitter and get back to the good old days when it was entertaining and informative. I hope you’ll all join me.

Finally, and this is probably the most important thing you’ll read all day:

Don’t be an asshole. 

It’s Oscar night and three years ago a friend and well respected member of the Toronto media, Neil Hedley, had some words for people tweeting insulting and bullying bullshit about movie stars on the red carpet at the Oscars. I wrote a post about thinking before you tweet that was well received. Last year a few actors even did a parody sketch on this as part of the opening segment. Regardless of how many people point out that slamming an actress for her body image amounts to bullying (and generally being an asshole) there will still be throngs of people who do it. Don’t be one of them.

~ Andrew

NaNoWriMovember 2013

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If you read my last post you know that I’m taking on NaNoWriMo again this year. It’s been a little more than two full days at this point and I’m already ahead of the curve; building up at least a day’s worth of buffer.

There are various strategies for tackling NaNo but the one that appears to work the best is: hit it early and put up some big numbers, then maintain a steady stream throughout. Use the words you’ve built up to have an off day and recharge the batteries every so often – and then finish strong.

Having failed in 2011 and succeeded in 2012 I can speak to the fact that it’s a gruelling contest and at the very least you need to be insanely prepared. Or just prepared. Or just insane.

My stats after two days of NaNoWriMo

If you haven’t guessed already, for the next four weeks I’ll be focusing on my journey through NaNo and sharing any interesting nuggets I find along the way. It also means that my posts will be a little shorter than usual simply due to the fact that I need those words in my novel. It doesn’t matter they’ll get edited out later; that’s a problem for December.

Writing isn’t the only thing I’ll be doing in November. It’s also the month where I get to listen to my family complain about my facial hair as I don a moustache to help raise awareness for men’s health. Movember is an annual event were men from around the world attempt to go all Tom Selleck in an effort to get people to ask, “Why the hell are you growing that sorry-ass moustache?” and then donate money. It’s been working out pretty well for the last few years and I’m proud to be a supporter.

I know, I know, the resemblance is uncanny.

So to recap:
  • If you’re participating in NaNoWriMo this year try to get ahead early; 
  • use any buffer you can build to take a few breaks; and 
  • finish strong.

Also, if you’re a dude, consider growing a moustache and raising some money for men’s health. If that’s not your thing, or you’re a lady looking to support the cause you can find my donation page here: 
http://mobro.co/andrewbutters
Together, we can change the face of men’s health – and write books.
~ Andrew

Tom Selleck image courtesy Georges Biard (via Wikipedia Commons)

I Love It When a Plan Comes Together

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About ten months ago I wrote something about planning versus pantsing. In this article I was hell-bent-and-determined that I was a pantser and would be forever that’s just the way it is no question about it thank you very much and good night.

To recap, there are two basic camps when it comes to writing: plotters, those who plot out their story ahead of time; and pantsers, those who fly by the seat of their pants and wing it.

Well, since then I’ve managed to write a lot of blog posts (none of them really planned out to any degree before I sat down to write them), written a few odd things here or there that haven’t amounted to anything, and I’ve got within five thousand words (or so) of finishing the first draft of my first novel. What was interesting about the novel is that any progress I made over the summer was entirely due to the fact that I started mapping things out.

Was my obsession with organization and planning spilling over into my writing? It appeared so, but what did it mean? Well, for starters it meant that it’s entirely possible NaNoWriMo wouldn’t be a complete bust this year. Intriguing. But, it also meant that my excuse list for not finishing my first novel was down to a single item: laziness. Hmm.

Let’s focus on National Novel Writing Month (http://nanowrimo.org) instead of the laziness.

NaNoWriMo is upon us and this year I have a plan. Well, I have a plan for a plan. Two NaNos ago I did not even have that much. Life intervened and derailed my writing and I couldn’t get back on track. Last year, I finished but it was an exhausting effort and took more discipline than I thought I had in me. This year, now this year is going to be different. I can feel it. At a minimum I will have all the main points I want to cover written down and in some order. This way, if life intervenes and writing gets derailed at least I’ll have an idea of what’s left so I can start chipping away at it.

Naturally, I started out with the idea that I would map out this book in excruciating detail with oodles of back story and character development and all that fancy stuff, but to be honest it started to feel a lot like work and it started to resemble real life, so I scaled it back. I write because I have stories to tell, and I take a great amount of joy in crafting them on the fly. If I were to map them all out piece by piece I don’t know if I’d enjoy writing them as much as I do. I haven’t missed a week of blogging this entire year and the only plan I had was a few post subjects queued up. After that, each post came together in the moment, and it was a lot of fun.

For another novel though? Well, at least at this point in time I don’t think that’s going to cut it. Not if I want to make thirty days of writing 1,667 words a day a little less manic than it was a year ago. Even if it’s just a few bullet points that read “MC freaks out” or “Antagonist does something antagonizing” at least I’ll have something to work with.

So, whether you’ve mapped out everything for NaNo from start to finish, have no plan at all and are just going to wing it, or if you’re somewhere in between, I wish you good writing! Look for me on Twitter and Facebook for word sprints and support:

~ Andrew

Thanks to http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/ for the use of the following images:
  • “Row of hanged blue jeans in a shop” courtesy of foto76
  • “Tired Man” courtesy of graur codrin

Continued Tales…

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… from the other, other Cambridge

… from a bar

… from Rhode Island

… (and from the road, again)


This is the thrilling conclusion to my 2000 km solo road trip to the North East United States (and back). What began with an absolutely fabulous Pearl Jam concert in Buffalo and a visit with one of my favourite writers in a wee town so far out of the way in New York that Ithaca can be heard saying, “Where is that place anyway?” continued on without incident and spectacular weather – until the border and my last 90 minutes of driving.

First, after visiting Gordon Bonnet I was treated to a 6 hour drive to Cambridge, Massachusetts – some of it along I-88. Where’s I-88 you ask? It’s a good question, and one I received a lot (apparently not many folks make the Binghamton to Schenectady run these days):

There’s our friend Ithaca way out on the left. Bahsten sitting wicked awesome on the right. Thanks to Google for the map.

Honestly, with most of the drive along I-90 it wasn’t too bad, especially when you have scenery like this to stare at the whole way:

Yellows were prominent along I-88. I dub thee “The Golden Highway”.

Anyway, on with the travels. I was visiting a lifelong friend of mine in Cambridge, MA (I can’t possibly keep typing that state out in full) and every time I visit we go do a few touristy things that I haven’t done before. I love museums and history and such, but being Columbus Day there wasn’t a lot open. We went to Walden Pond where I could have stayed taking pictures all day and then some.

A lone maple leaf floats at the edge of Walden Pond.

The afternoon was filled with more fun and excitement as I got to fill my sports and history void all in one shot with a tour of Fenway Park! It wasn’t a game day but Major League Baseball had control of the field so we weren’t allowed in the dugout or on the field, but the view from atop the Green Monster is something to behold.

Panoramic view of Fenway as seen from the Green Monster

For those keeping track, I promised fun times and beverages with some pretty awesome writers on this trip. Do not despair! My first full day in Cambridge, MA ended with a trip to the Cambridge Brewing Company with none other than the author of The Prodigal’s Foole, R.B. Wood. This is a guy I’ve only interacted with on Facebook and Twitter and meeting him in real life was a thrill. I’m not just saying that because he bought me dinner.

Richard likes beer and was drinking a dark ale, I believe.
I’m the pretentious ass at the beer place drinking red wine.


Tuesday was a pretty laid back day hanging with my bud and his 14 month old son. No need to go into much detail except to say that it was great to spend some quality time with my friends in my favourite city in America. Oh, we went to the aquarium where I managed to take this picture:

Please caption it!

Wednesday brought a short drive into Rhode Island. I’d only ever driven through it once before and happened to blink so I didn’t really see much of it. Make no mistake, even though people like to use “… the size of Rhode Island” as an expression it’s actually pretty big (you’re welcome, RI tourism).

While the state is small in size and population it is home to at least one seriously good writer, and I got to meet him! Alex Kimmel is a native Californian that through a series of interesting events has ended up in a quaint little town in the middle of Rhode Island. If you’re looking for a scary book to read check out The Key to Everything. Right now it’s sitting at #4 in its genre on Amazon, after two Stephen King novels and ahead of another King and an Anne Rice. I told you he was good.

A great guy, great writer, and #4 on the Amazon horror list – and me on the left.

So there you have it. Wednesday night was spent staying at a cousin’s place in Connecticut and Thursday was a looooooonng drive home. With no tolls and no stopping for food and gas and no border crossing and no traffic Google says it’s 7 hours and 58 minutes. It turns out that not many people live in this Utopian Google Land of Perfection and it took me a full 10 hours. Again, with the awe inspiring beauty that are the fall colours of New England and upstate New York it felt like a lot less.

Wishing you all happy travels and good writing!

~ Andrew

Tales…

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… from the road!


This week I’m at the beginning of a mini vacation and whirlwind meet ‘n greet tour of a number of wonderful places in the northeastern United States… and Buffalo. With special Fan Club tickets to the Pearl Jam show in Buffalo on Saturday night, airline tickets being what they are, and me with my new fuel efficient Mazda 3 (Sport, with SkyActiv™ technology), I made the executive decision a few weeks ago to drive from Buffalo to Cambridge, Massachusetts while making a stop in upstate New York to visit my friend and fellow blogger/writer Gordon Bonnet (his twitter handle is @TalesOfWoah and his blog is Skeptophilia).


But before that I had a few things to sort out. Step one is getting across the border. Last time I made the trip I was harangued at the Peace Bridge by an overzealous guard. In addition to the usual “What’s the purpose of your trip? Where are you staying?” questions the following exchange occurred: 

Guard: “How do you know your friend?

Me: “We grew up together.” 

Guard: “So you’ve lived in the United States?” 

Me: “No he used to live in Canada?” 

Guard: “So why is he living in the United States?” 

Me: “He went to grad school in Wisconsin and then got a job in Chicago. He switched jobs and moved to Cambridge. Met a nice girl and got married.” 

Guard: “So is that why you’re visiting? To get a job?” 

Me: “No sir. I have a job. I just want to visit my buddy.” 

[Handing me back my passport] 

Guard: “Have a good trip.”

Seriously?


This time the trip across was a lot smoother, even if it did take 45 minutes to complete. With it being the long weekend and with there being a Bills game on Sunday it was amazingly busy. The border guard did rummage through all my stuff and check the wheel wells of my car for contraband but other than that it was uneventful. Oh, a lady a couple rows over was detained for reasons unknown, so I guess that was exciting.

Saturday night was spent in a packed arena in the armpit of America watching one of the most exciting bands of the last two decades. Pearl Jam has graduated from 1990’s grunge to good old fashioned Rock and Roll and they put on a show that I certainly won’t forget. Smart phones being what they are I managed to capture a few things. Here’s a taste (oh yeah, I caught myself a Mike McCready guitar pick too):


Sunday brought a quick 90 minute drive down to see Gordon. It was everything I hoped it would be, and then some. I’ll admit it, I have a serious man crush on him and he did not disappoint. Aside from writing a thoroughly entertaining blog, he’s written some thoroughly entertaining books, and he’s a SCIENCE TEACHER! Anyone who knows me knows that science is my favourite -ence. 

We chatted about writing. We talked about art and creativity. I got to see his son working on his art (glass blowing and other assorted glass creations). He made me a cheese and bacon sandwich. He even let me see his writing hole… er… workspace. He probably has the best window ever for looking out of. The picture doesn’t do it justice:

 

So it’s been an eventful weekend to say the least. Tune in next week as I continue my quest to meet as many writers as possible. With any amount of luck I’ll get to tell you what Richard B. Wood drinks at the pub, what kind of flooring is in Alex Kimmell’s house, and where A.J. Aalto’s favourite place is to dump a body.

Stay tuned!

~ Andrew